It’s not always easy to express who you are and stop censoring yourself so you don’t fit in with what other people expect or want. Sometimes being yourself is a work in progress. If people have criticized you for your dreams, lifestyle, or tattoos, this might’ve made you want to hightail it back into your shell and stay there forever. But don’t do that! You can’t be fully happy unless you let yourself shine. Here are 10 effective tips on how to be unapologetically you.
1. Stop Making Excuses For Yourself.
You might make excuses for why you don’t want to show people the real you. Maybe you think that if you share your paintings with others, they’ll mock or criticize you. Or, maybe you tell yourself that you don’t want to risk being rejected for having different opinions from others so it’s safer to go with the flow. Um, enough with the excuses. They’re just holding you back.
2. Stop Saying Sorry All The Time.
Maybe you always apologize for having different needs or wants from your partner. Or, you apologize to your friend who’s getting married for being the only vegan she has to accommodate with a separate menu at her wedding. Stop! If you keep saying sorry for things that you haven’t done wrong, you’re coming across as unconfident and like you’re afraid to take space.
3. Don’t Know What You Want? Use These Game-Changing Tricks To Find Out.
Figuring out what you want is the key to becoming 100% yourself. If you don’t know what that is, especially when it comes to dating and relationships, you’ll want to check out our sister site, Sweetn. They have some incredible tips and advice on how to delve deep into your own mind to figure out what you want from love and — and then help yourself get it. Check them out here.
4. Get Real About What You Feel.
Do you push your feelings out of sight so you can pretend that you agree with your partner/friend? Maybe you do this so that you don’t rock the boat or put people off with a harsh truth, like if you’re the only person in your social circle who doesn’t want to attend a concert or go camping. Yikes. The result of hiding your feelings is that you don’t get to do what you want, which sucks.
5. Deal With A Fear Of Being Judged.
A fear of being judged can cause you to be anxious and worried that you’ll be seen for who you really are and exposed. It’s scary AF because we all want to be accepted and loved. That said, don’t let a fear of being judged make you force yourself to be what you think others want. It can be helpful to challenge the fear by asking yourself, “So what if I’m judged? What’s the worst that can happen?” People who are worth your time want you to be uniquely you, without censoring yourself.
6. Realize It’s Not Your Job To Please Others.
Hey, are you a jar of Nutella? Nope. So, why do you think your job is to please everyone? It’s not. You don’t have to try to make everyone happy by falling in line with what they want or agreeing with them. You were put on this earth for greater reasons than being a people-pleaser or doormat. Seriously. Besides, people-pleasing is exhausting.
7. Say “No” More Regularly.
If you’re always saying “yes” to invites, favor requests, and dates with people who don’t thrill you, it’s time to put your foot down and say “no.” You don’t even need to give the person a reason for why you’re saying a polite but firm “no.” When you do this, your knee-jerk reaction might be to fear that you’re going to get rejected, but it actually earns you respect.
8. Cut Out Toxic People.
You can’t be yourself if you’re surrounded by people who bring you down, criticize you, and make you feel like you’ll never be good enough for them. This will prevent you from being the real you – and rip apart your self-esteem. Ugh. Honestly, you don’t need this drama in your life. Surround yourself with people who are positive, loving, and genuinely want to get to know the real you.
9. Choose What You (Not Others) Want.
You have to know yourself before you can show the world who you are, so take some time to figure out what you want out of life. What are your hobbies and passions? What are your goals and dreams? What do you like and want to be doing in your life? These are important questions to answer so you can lead the life you want without being swayed by what others want – this can happen if you don’t know yourself.
10. Prioritize Your Happiness.
Although it’s great to consider other people’s happiness, you should never put it above your own. If you do this, you’ll neglect yourself and not give yourself what you need to feel happy and live your best life. So, check in with yourself regularly throughout the day and think about what you need RN to be happy and be who you really are. Then, go for it! You deserve it.
11. Celebrate Your Achievements.
As someone who’s nervous to express who they are, you might struggle to celebrate your achievements. So, you might hide them from loved ones or tell them it’s NBD. Wait, what? Although you don’t want to come across as braggy, you shouldn’t censor your success out of fear of making others uncomfortable. People who love you want to celebrate and support you!
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