16 Signs You’re Dealing With Someone Who Loves Conflict

16 Signs You’re Dealing With Someone Who Loves Conflict

Some people seem to crave arguments like others crave their morning latte. Somehow, they manage to turn even the most mundane conversation into a battleground. If you know someone who’s guilty of any of the following behaviors, chances are they love a good fight. If you’re not into drama, it might be better to distance yourself from them as much as possible.

1. They love playing devil’s advocate.

No matter what you say, they’re always ready with a counterargument. Even if they don’t actually disagree with you, they’ll find a way to poke holes in your logic just for the sake of it. They’re not interested in having a productive discussion — they just want to prove you wrong. As The Guardian reports, this behavior is sadly very common, so chances are you know someone like this.

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2. They’re constantly complaining.

Nothing is ever good enough for them. They’ll find fault with everything from the weather to the food at a restaurant. And they’re not just venting — they’re looking for someone to commiserate with them. They want you to join in on their pity party and validate their negative outlook.

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3. They’re quick to take offense.

No matter how innocuous your comment may be, they’ll find a way to twist it into a personal attack. They’re always on the lookout for a reason to be offended, and they’ll make sure everyone knows just how hurt or angry they are. They thrive on the attention that comes with being the victim.

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4. They pick fights over silly things.

People who live for conflict will cause drama over the tiniest things. Whether it’s an empty coffee pot or a “wrongly” squeezed toothpaste tube, nothing escapes their arsenal of petty complaints. It might seem like they’re just picking fights, but their explosive reactions often mask deeper vulnerabilities or need for control.

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5. They’re always gossiping.

Gossiping gives these people a sense of power, Psychology Today explains, so they love nothing more than dishing the dirt on other people. They’ll share scandalous stories and intimate details, all under the guise of “concern” or “just wanting to keep you in the loop.” But really, they’re just stirring the pot and creating drama where there doesn’t need to be any.

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6. They’re never wrong (in their eyes, anyway).

Even when presented with clear evidence to the contrary, they’ll never admit to being mistaken. They’ll double down on their arguments, twist the facts to suit their narrative, and deflect blame onto others. They’re more concerned with being right than with finding the truth.

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7. They hold grudges.

Someone who avoids peaceful situations will hold on to negative feelings, such as when nurturing their grudges. They might have an argument with someone and see them as their biggest enemy for years, if not decades, later!

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8. They go AWOL for days after an argument.

Toxic fighting habits are common with people who love conflict. So, when they’re involved in an argument with their partner, they might storm out of the house and disappear for days because they don’t want to resolve things. They don’t even care what this does to the partner they’ve left behind.

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9. They’re quick to judge people.

Criticizing other people is something people who love conflict will do to cause arguments and drama. They might do this out of insecurity, bringing other people down makes them feel better about themselves.

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10. They’re always playing the blame game.

Nothing is ever their fault. They’ll point fingers, make excuses, and shift responsibility onto anyone and everyone else. They refuse to take accountability for their actions, and they’ll go to great lengths to avoid admitting any wrongdoing.

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11. They have anxiety issues.

If people have conflict-causing traits, they might experience health conditions such as anxiety or depression. This is because they struggle to deal with people in healthy ways, and this has negative consequences on their mental health. It’s impossible to walk around causing drama with people nonstop and ending relationships without it having consequences.

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12. They’re always threatening to cut people off.

If you don’t agree with them or do things their way, they’ll threaten to end the relationship. They use emotional blackmail as a way to control and manipulate those around them. They’ll make you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells, afraid to say or do the wrong thing.

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13. They don’t resolve issues.

Instead of dealing with problems that arise so that they can be settled and you can move on, people who love conflict will shut down arguments and walk away. They’re not interested in resolving things; in reality, they want to keep the drama going because it’s exciting to them.

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14. They’re perpetually angry.

It doesn’t take much to set them off. They have a hair-trigger temper and are always ready to explode at the slightest provocation — and when they do blow up, it’s not pretty. They’ll yell, scream, and say hurtful things that they can’t take back.

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15.  They’re comfortable in chaos.

Conflict lovers attract drama because they don’t know how to deal with peaceful situations. This could be because of childhood trauma or other issues, such as if they had a stressful home environment. So, when they go for a few days or weeks without any conflict, they’ll start a fight or bring some drama to the table to get back in their comfort zone.

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16. Their reactions are exaggerated.

Someone who likes creating conflict and drama tends to have over-the-top reactions to things. This is part of their tactic to get attention and create chaos. It can cause everyone around them to walk around on eggshells because they don’t want to be on the receiving end of their outbursts.

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Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.