Big City Dating Sucks, So I’m Moving To A Small Town To Find Better Guys

After over a decade in a major US city, I’m disenchanted with the numbers game of big city dating. Endless options don’t matter when those endless options are totally wrong for me. I want a slower pace, so I’m moving somewhere much quieter—and hoping that I get the added bonus of a better dating scene.

  1. I’m tired of being a tiny fish in a huge pond. I’ll freely admit that it’s not working for me. After dealing with feeling invisible for much of my adult life, I’m more than ready to be the new girl in town. It’s nice to feel like guys are actually excited to meet me and genuinely interested in talking to me.
  2. Everyone in the city is preoccupied with themselves. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great to hone in on personal goals. I’m definitely ambitious and focused myself, but what I’m noticing is that the narcissism in my particular neck of the woods is out of control. There’s no room for serious dating because everything else takes priority.
  3. There may be fewer people in a quieter town, but hopefully they’ll be more like-minded. I’m moving somewhere with a focus on getting outside and enjoying nature because that’s what I’m all about. I don’t find many kindred spirits in the big city, and when I do meet one, it’s usually a fluke. I need an adventurous partner.
  4. I don’t vibe with the city anymore so I can’t make connections. Part of the problem is simply that I’m not happy where I am. Knowing that I want to leave means that I don’t take dating there seriously. What’s the point in meeting someone in a place that makes me miserable? I’ve completely given up trying.
  5. I need to be happy to meet the right match. I’m in my element when I’m surrounded by natural beauty, even more so when I’m in an environment that allows me space and time to breathe. The slower pace of a smaller city sounds extremely refreshing, and I think that once I’m relaxed, love will come to me naturally.
  6. I want a grounded and authentic partner. I’m really over the selfish, flaky, and immature men I always encounter in the city where I’ve lived for so many years. It’s only getting worse. In a place that attracts people seeking fame and fortune, I guess that’s to be expected. I’m looking for someone with better values.
  7. The pickings will be slimmer but that’s not always bad. First of all, when there are too many choices, no one wants to commit. I don’t mind having fewer options if the people are higher quality. If you think about it, it really only takes one—who’s to say that I can’t meet him in a smaller city?
  8. I’m tired of feeling overlooked and underappreciated. I know that I’m a great girl who deserves a loving and devoted partner. I am ready to get into a mature adult relationship and no one in Los Angeles seems to want the same. Everyone is a Peter Pan and I’m over it. I’m getting out.
  9. I think I’ll thrive in a smaller community. I like spending time in places that are a little quieter and operate at a slower pace. I appreciate the genuine connections that are made in such environments. Once I allow myself to slow down, I know that my true self will shine through naturally.
  10. The stress and impersonal chaos of the city make me depressed. It’s like I wear a protective shell at all times while I walk through the endless concrete. I’m always running to catch up and it’s never enough. Men barely look me in the eye, let alone make an effort to connect. I need relief.
  11. I’m confident I’ll find love when I’m immersed in what I love. I also believe that I’m not meant to find someone in a city where I don’t belong. I know that when I’m in surroundings I love doing what I love, actual romantic love will follow. I’ll meet my match when I’m so fulfilled that I’m not even looking for him.
  12. Small towns aren’t all full of small-minded humans. I made sure to choose a smaller town that still fits my needs—ethnic diversity, a progressive mindset, lots of universities everywhere and an emphasis on mindful living. I couldn’t go to just any tiny locale in the middle of nowhere. I’d never find the right guy there either.
  13. Even if it doesn’t work out on the love front, it’s still the right move. I’m not doing this because I want to find a partner. That would be a huge gamble for sure! I’m definitely hoping to improve my chances of meeting someone compatible, and I think I will because I’m doing what I believe in my heart to be best for me.


A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at