Why Being A Bit Jaded Can Be An Asset In The Dating Game

Why Being A Bit Jaded Can Be An Asset In The Dating Game ©iStock/Vadim Orlov

Being jaded is a bit like cosmetic fillers: in large amounts, their toxins can kill you, but a healthy dose of jadedness can smooth out your dating strategy in the same way those fillers iron out wrinkles.

  1. It makes guys work a little harder. If you’re open to love right off the bat, it makes guys think they can put in less effort. Why should they work so hard to get your attention if you’re placing it on the table right in front of them? If you’re skeptical about them and you hold back a bit so you can figure out a guy’s intentions, you become worthy of being chased.
  2. You see the bad qualities in guys that other women ignore. When you’re smitten with someone, it’s natural to see their good qualities and completely ignore why they’re bad boyfriend material. But if you expect guys to turn into losers, you prevent yourself from ignoring those red flags, such as if the guy is clearly playing you, which means you won’t be blinded by love.
  3. You don’t have high expectations. Having no expectations when meeting someone new might come across as negative, as though you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop so you’re not holding your breath, but it means you don’t put pressure on yourself or the guy to the make things work. Instead, when you meet a great guy, you take it as it comes and live in the moment without getting ahead of yourself. You keep your feet on the ground, which makes it so much easier to walk away if things don’t work.
  4. You prevent unnecessary heartbreak. Being a little jaded is really just another term for guarding your heart, which is a good thing. A lot of heartbreak can be prevented if you watch your step and keep your eyes open for signs that a guy isn’t worth your time. That way, you can press the ‘exit’ button long before your heart is smashed into a million pieces.
  5. You deal with bad boys in the best way. Bad boys do not make great boyfriends, but sometimes they can be fun to date for a while. The best way to deal with them is with a jaded pair of hands. You prevent them from taking over your life, you don’t risk getting hurt and you don’t buy their lame-ass excuses. You can enjoy their adventurous spirits and spontaneous attitudes for as long as it suits you. When they become heartbreakers, you can walk away without having put your heart on the line.
  6. You’re smart, not snarky. Although being very jaded means that you’re stuck on bad memories from your romantic past and bitter about men, a little jadedness can actually cause you to use your bad experiences in a more powerful way. You keep them at the back of your mind so that you don’t forget how those losers hurt you. This prevents you from getting back into such awful situations.
  7. You’ve seen all this stuff before. There’s a reason why you’re jaded: you’ve gone through a lot of stuff in the dating game and you’re not prepared to put up with it again. Although this doesn’t have to make you hard or bitter, such as by thinking that all guys are the same and will hurt you, you can let your black belt in BS help you stick to powerful dealbreakers without compromising your needs. Being jaded sometimes gets a bad rap but used correctly, it’s all about putting yourself first for a change and not sticking around for someone who doesn’t meet your high – but totally reasonable – standards.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.