I get that modern dating comes with its fair share of ideals and expectations when it comes to physical appearance. However, the types of comments I’ve received from guys over the years about how I look is actually pretty appalling, and I’m sick of dealing with the constant pressure for my body to look a certain way. You know what? No, my body isn’t perfect and I truly don’t care. If you can’t love it the way it is, I have no time for you in my life at all.
I’m done with the pressure. Being a woman is super exhausting! We’re expected to look, talk, dress and act a certain way until some supposed miracle man comes into our lives and carries our perfectly sculpted bodies off into the sunset. I’ve done the dieting, the weight loss pills and I’ve done the excruciating hours at the gym — and all it left me was emotionally deflated. There needs to be a balance. I eat right, I’m active, and I’m happy with who I am. If that’s not good enough for you, see ya!
If I’m not your cup of tea, I’ll be someone else’s champagne. I get it — some guys want what they want, and that’s totally okay, but don’t you dare make digs at my body just because it’s not what you prefer. If you don’t want to date me, good for you. Do you want a gold star for vocalizing it? A guy once told me I would be ridiculously attractive if I lost 10-15 pounds and I’ll tell you exactly what I told him: “GTFO.” I DGAF. What you don’t enjoy, another guy will adore. That’s the beauty of the eyes of a different beholder.
Personalities are often part of physical attraction. It does at times get frustrating that I’ve been written off solely for my body type because there’s plenty more about me to love that has nothing to do with the curves on my hips or the way that I look. Personalities prevail and sometimes people fall in love with someone they didn’t think they ever would simply because their partner’s personality was a perfect fit for them. If you can’t see past the vanity, you could miss out on the real magic of a person.
My body tells a story about how much I’ve survived. My body might not be attractive in your eyes, but it tells a powerful story of who I am. Every scar, every inch, and every tear demonstrate the things I’ve survived. I’m someone who has loved, lived, lost, grieved, survived and persevered. My body might not be perfect, but it’s alive and doing just fine with or without you.
I aim to be the best I can be every single day and that’s all that matters. When I go on a mission to drastically improve every curve on my body, I do it for myself and not for anyone else. My body isn’t for you, it’s for me. I wake up and I strive to be the best version of myself I can be. I fuel myself with nourishment, enrichment, and knowledge, and to be brutally honest, I think I’m pretty damn amazing for it. I get up and do the best that I can and that’s all that matters in my eyes.
A body and face will age but my heart will always be the same — GOLD. No matter who you end up with, you have to stay humble. Looks fade. Bodies change. We get skin spots in places that were once perfectly smooth. Scars form. Wounds heal. Lines reveal themselves as a timeline of our lives — it’s just part of life. Even if you judge me for my current flaws, I could honestly care less. You’re the one who’s missing out on the amazing person I have and will always be on the inside.
Attraction is important, but so is compassion and keeping it human. At a certain point, I feel that the degree of vanity and expectations for looks in a partner these days are pretty unrealistic. I’ll never be the Photoshopped version of perfection by today’s standards and as much as social media glorifies a certain body type, there are other equally as beautiful women to consider. Like I said, there’s more of me to love and I wish that for once, some of the guys these days would look past the over-hyped body goals and focus on what’s truly important. Perhaps if you got to know me and saw the way I make efforts to improve myself constantly and heard about the things that I’ve been through that led me to where I am now, you might be more enamored at my strength than you could ever be if I possessed the perfect body.
My body is on a journey just like yours. Even though I’m a woman under the routine image scrutiny that generations before me were met with, you fail to realize that I’m just like you — human. Your body tells a story just like mine and mine isn’t done writing the pages. One day this body of mine is going to experience more joy, more loss, more grief and more adventure. One day my body is going to create another tiny human by ripping certain parts of my insides apart first. One day my body could face an illness. Bodies are like the weather, forever changing, but my heart and who I am inside is like the strong oak in the forest that weathers every storm.
I don’t need your love — I already love myself. Every. Single. Ounce. If you can’t love me for how I look now, that’s fine by me because I wouldn’t want a guy like you in my life to begin with. I’m looking for a guy who will love all of me for exactly who I am. I know my body isn’t perfect. I know that I’m always going to be a work in progress, fighting and surviving new chapters of life. I used to obsess about impressing guys with the perfect body, but I’m done with it. My body isn’t meant to be perfect, it’s simply meant to be mine and I love it for where it’s at right now, even if you can’t.
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