I Bought My First Vibrator And All I Can Say Is… Whoa

I’m single AF and I get horny AF sometimes, but I’m not into casual sex. In light of this, I decided to go ahead and buy my very first vibrator to help me out when I desperately need to get off. Needless to say, it was one of the best purchases I’ve ever made in my life.

  1. I was incredibly nervous about my first foray into the world of sex toys. When the box arrived at my door, I was at work and terrified that the packaging would give away the fact that I’d bought a vibrator. Masturbation isn’t something to be ashamed of, but as this was my first time purchasing a sex toy, I wasn’t sure what kind of box it came in. I was glad to see that it was just a regular inconspicuous box when I got home that day. I’m not immature about sex or my body in any way, but I was seriously freaking out about the situation, probably because I was feeling anxious/excited about what was to come.
  2. I had to read the instructions. Yes, seriously. I’m nearing 30 but still had never tried any kind of sex toys before. I felt stupid, but being so unfamiliar with the whole thing, I actually sat and read the instructions. Sure, it’s pretty obvious what you do with the thing and I could have figured it out by experimenting with it “hands on,” if you will, but I wanted to be thorough!
  3. I was afraid of actually putting it inside me. Throughout the instructions, there were warnings about the possible dangers of using battery-powered devices and I got a little scared to even try it out. Horror stories of sex toy accidents flashed through my mind, and for a split second, I almost gave it up before even trying it. Thankfully, I didn’t.
  4. I eventually faced my fear and got down to business. As the leaflet said to insert and then turn it on, that’s what I did. I started on the lowest setting and even that was almost enough to make me come right then and there. I couldn’t even believe it. The lowest setting was almost too much to bear, but I didn’t stop there.
  5. Oh. My. God. Why didn’t I try this sooner? It’s hard to explain the copious amount of pleasure I felt, partly because it was out of this world and partly because I lasted less than a minute before I was orgasming like I had never before. WHAAAAAT? What was this magical object and why had I never bought one before?
  6. My vibrator became the gift that kept on giving. Can you say multiple orgasms? After the first big O was out of the way, I was curious as to see what the next two settings had to offer. The first one was unreal, so I was almost afraid to go full speed, but thank god I did. It’s not even a “trying to have an orgasm” type of climax that can sometimes happen during even the best of sex. It’s like a “you’re going to come whether you want to or not” type of climax, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
  7. Okay, so I’m sort of addicted. Now that I have this toy, masturbation has jumped damn near the top of my priority list. Sure, I still have to get things done and live my life, but do I really need to go out to the bar and fake conversation with that potential date? Not anymore, I don’t.
  8. I’m a little worried about the next guy I sleep with. He’s going to have to live up to some seriously great expectations. Now that I know what a mind-blowing orgasm really feels like, anything that doesn’t measure up might just seem like a waste of time, and that worries me when it comes to my future boyfriend.
  9. I hope this doesn’t actually ruin sex for me. It really is that good. I’m not kidding. If you don’t have a vibrator, I suggest you go out and buy one immediately. I can’t stress enough how much better this is than any actual sex that I’ve had in a long time. It’s going to take one hell of a man to make me orgasm like that damn vibrator.
Angelica Bottaro has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Trent University and an Advanced Diploma in Journalism from Centennial College. She began her career as a freelance writer in 2014, racking up bylines in The Good Men Project, MakeWell, LymeTime, YouQueen, and more. She eventually shifted her focus and began writing about mental health, nutrition, and chronic disease for VeryWell Health.

You can follow her on Facebook or check out her website at AngelicaBottaro.ca. She also posts on Instagram @a.ct._b and Twitter @angiiebee.
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