A Boy Might Make Promises, But A Man Follows Through

Promises are sacred — or at least that’s the idea. Too many guys go around making declarations that they know damn well they have no intention of following through with. Any boy can make promises, but it takes a real man to actually follow through with them.

  1. Boys use promises as a means to an end; real men use them to make their intentions clear. Boys don’t know how to be dependable. Why? Because they don’t care enough to put anyone’s needs before their own (or even on the same level). A real man will be there for you when you need him. If he makes a promise, it’s because he truly wants to, and fulfilling it will mean just as much to him as it will to you.
  2. Boys don’t know the first thing about trust; real men know it’s important to be reliable. If you’re going to have a healthy long-term relationship with someone, you need to be able to trust them. There’s no way you can trust an immature guy who’s inconsistent because he doesn’t know what he wants — he can’t even trust himself because of it. Real men are confident in who they are and they’re on the same page as you about wanting to make the most out of love. They mean what that say, and that’s comforting.
  3. Boys don’t expect you to hold them to their word; real men fulfill their promises without prompting. We all make mistakes, but immature boys will say things in the moment that they expect you to forget about down the line, and there’s nothing accidental about that. When a real man loves you, he actually wants to keep his promises to you. He won’t need reminding or begging to prompt him to follow through — it comes naturally because he’s got his act together.
  4. Boys don’t value words; real men know talk is cheap. Real men don’t say things that they don’t mean, not only because that’s kid stuff, but because they would never want to let you down. Boys say things in the heat of the moment because they feel like it, but they don’t expect it to mean anything. A real man knows that his words carry weight, and without action to back them up, they’re powerless.
  5. Boys think everything is a joke; real men know some things deserve to be taken seriously. Boys are only interested in something casual. They say they love you and make you believe they want to be with you forever, but then out of the blue, it’s over, and they pretend like you both knew all along that you weren’t meant for each other. You’re not dumb for believing what he told you — he’s dumb for thinking everything’s one big joke. Real men who are lucky enough to have you in their lives will do everything they can to keep you there, no questions asked.
  6. Boys live in the present; real men are looking to build a future. Boys can barely focus on the moment they’re in, let alone think about their futures — that’s way too much commitment. What you need is a mature man, one who’s actually ready for love. He wants a real relationship and is over the “sowing his wild oats” phase. Real men want to build a life with a good woman, but boys will only ever take you for granted.
  7. Boys will say anything to get you into bed; real men want sex to mean something. All boys care about is getting laid, and they’ll say whatever it takes to make you believe it’s more than that if it’ll get you there. Real men would never trick you into sleeping with them — they want it to mean as much to you as it does to them.
  8. Boys are good at pretending; real men actually care. You shouldn’t have to beg a guy just to give a crap about you. Boys will continue to break promises, say stuff they don’t mean and just generally not give a crap about how their actions affect you. Real men aren’t that selfish. They know that you deserve to be loved, they know you deserve the truth, and best of all, they know that when they make a promise, you deserve to have them to keep it.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.