My Boyfriend Is Basically Rich And I Hate It Because I’m Broke And It Sucks

My Boyfriend Is Basically Rich And I Hate It Because I’m Broke And It Sucks

My significant other makes a lot more money than me. I don’t mean a few grand more—I’m talking almost DOUBLE my salary. I know you might be thinking that it doesn’t matter or that our combined income is what’s important but it matters to me—a lot. In order to be more independent, I prefer to think of my income as my own. Here’s why our different salaries are such a problem for me:

  1. I hate being a stereotype. This is supposed to be the 21st century. I should be making at least close to what my guy makes. Isn’t that a small part of what it means to be a strong, independent woman? Instead, every time I think of our salaries, I just see my life slowly becoming an old episode of Leave it to Beaver. I might as well go get some pearls to prepare myself.
  2. It was my choice to go into a low-paying field. Perhaps the worst part is that I have no one to blame but myself. I went to college and I knew going in that my major wasn’t going to make me a ton of money down the road. Unfortunately, my native, self-righteous 18-year-old self thought that this was totally fine. Who needs money? Isn’t happiness what’s important? Ugh. While of course happiness is key, I wish I’d looked a little deeper into finding a career path that was both fulfilling AND economically viable.
  3. Things can get awkward. I should mention that my guy totally rocks. He’s awesome, sweet, funny, and as you already know, he makes bank. Well, that last one can make things a little awkward from time to time. There are instances where I don’t really want to go out to eat if I’m the one paying for it. I’d rather save money and cook at home. Even stuff like going to the movies has gotten SO expensive. I’m sorry, but I’m not spending $20 for one ticket to see a movie in IMAX or 3D. I hate asking him to pay but I also don’t want to go if I’m picking up the bill. See the dilemma? It’s totally terrible, I’m aware.
  4. Vacation planning is hell. Vacations are expensive. I don’t think he should have to pay for me if we decide to travel somewhere as a treat. I also don’t want him to have to stay in a crappy hotel just because of me, so I end up agreeing to wherever he picks. This leaves me desperately trying to save every nickel I have and feeling guilty half the time while we are traveling because everything is so pricey.
  5. Buying him presents is the worst. When people make a substantial amount of money, they have this habit of buying things that they want. Imagine that! It’s nice for them but totally sucks when you are trying to find them the perfect present. I’ve basically given up on buying him material items. He either buys it before I have the chance or it’s more than I could afford anyway. Nothing like a gift from the heart, right? Coupon book, anyone?
  6. I have to remind myself that it’s not his fault. At the end of the day, I can’t get mad at him for being successful.That would be childish even for me. I’m happy he’s found a career path that he loves and is financially rewarding. He does pay for a lot of my meals out and he’s aware of how much I make. When I’m feeling down about the lack of money in my savings, I have to remember that I can’t take it out on him. That would be completely unfair.
  7. I hate watching him pay for stuff. Like I said, he’s really nice about picking up checks when we’re out so that I don’t have to. He always does this without being asked and I do appreciate it. I just have one of those personalities where I feel bad about everything. I’m the type of person who would apologize just for existing. Once again, totally not his fault, but that worrying weighs on me. I try to treat him every once in awhile out, but I wish we could always just take turns splitting the bill.
  8. It’s hard for him to understand. We’ve talked about the financial stuff before, but at the end of the day, it’s hard for him to truly understand. I think the last time he was ever hurting for money was in college, like, 10 years ago. It’s tough when you see eye to eye on everything else but have this one underlying issue that can’t be fixed.
  9. I don’t like feeling as if I “owe” him something. He definitely doesn’t expect anything from me when he picks up the check. He’s not a creeper and I would definitely dump him if he did! It’s more of the fact that I feel guilty about it. It really eats at me sometimes.
  10. Our lifestyles are different because of our salaries. Every time we go shopping, he ends up with several bags and I maybe get one item that was on sale. He also goes to the gym by our apartment but I don’t because of the price. You’ve got to be kidding if you think I’m spending $100 a month to lift some heavy objects a billion other people have touched! Would it be nice to go to the gym together? Sure, but it’s not worth the price tag to me.
  11. It’s really hard to save money. When you’re dating or even hanging out with someone who makes a lot more money than you, saving becomes even more of a serious struggle. They want to go out more, as they should, and you come along so you’re not a total buzz kill. Everything is totally fine and fun until you check your credit card the next day and realize you spent $60 on some specialty drinks. The struggle is real!
Victoria Hill is a freelance writer in Boston. Originally from Florida, she is slowly becoming accustomed to Boston winters. She loves writing, coffee, and actually experiencing seasons!