10 Reasons Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Trust You And What To Do About It

Without trust, you’re bound to be paranoid in your relationship. While this often builds the longer that you’re together, you can also sabotage it by making the wrong choices. Here’s why your boyfriend doesn’t think you’re 100% trustworthy and how you can rectify this.

  1. You get weird around your phone. Maybe you’re just a little embarrassed about the number of Reddit threads you visit but you still feel weird about handing your phone over. That, or you make sure to exit every app before handing it to him. He shouldn’t need to check your phone daily, but if he needs to take a peek at his email real quick or maybe scan for something a family member posted on Instagram, it shouldn’t be an overly awkward exchange. You have a right to privacy, but acting oddly suspicious makes it look like you’re hiding something.
  2. You keep talking about an ex. The past is in the past. Sure, your exes helped you grow, but if you continue talking about past relationships — or worse, comparing it to the one you’re in now — it’ll look like you’re not over your ex. If you still keep in touch with them, that’s another red flag that your boyfriend will notice.
  3. You’ve left others for this ex before. None of us has a completely clean history, but if you are known to cheat on boyfriends when an opportunity with your ex presents itself, then prepare for a lack of trust. Even cheating, in general, is a sign that your relationship today may not be the most secure. Stop making excuses for cheating and acknowledge that it’s an unhealthy pattern that bothers your boyfriend. If you’ve cheated on him directly before, that’s why he doesn’t trust you. That should be a no-brainer.
  4. You have a history of lying. Even white lies are technically lies. If you want to have an honest relationship with your boyfriend, you won’t sugarcoat anything. That means that if something bad happens, you won’t lie by omission or soften the news to make it easier. You need to tell it like it is and let him know you value honesty.
  5. You’re easily persuadable. This point might hurt a little, but if you don’t have a backbone and just go along with everyone else’s plans, your boyfriend may think you’re afraid to speak up for yourself. That means that if you’re uncomfortable going to a strip club for a bachelorette party, you’ll end up going if your friends do and then try to convince him that it’s actually what you wanted all along. It’s okay to have friends who influence you, but if you never stand up for yourself, it’ll be hard to take you seriously all the time.
  6. You seem to pick fights sometimes. Sometimes, you start fights out of nowhere. Maybe you’re bored, or maybe you’re just in need of attention. It doesn’t help that during these fights, you often threaten to break up. When a guy knows that his relationship isn’t on stable ground and that you’re so willing to end it based on a minor disagreement, he may not trust you. It looks like you’re always looking for an excuse to leave. Next time you feel a fight coming on, ask yourself what your motives and end goal are.
  7. You still have dating apps on your phone. It’s fun to swipe sometimes, but it’s also a little sketchy. If you’re actually happy in your relationship, you wouldn’t want to damage things by still having Tinder installed. These apps can easily be re-downloaded after a breakup, so there’s no point in making them so accessible. Think about how it’d feel if the situation was reversed.
  8. You often side with your parents over him. In your relationship, you’re more prone to do what your parents expect of you even if it’s completely different than what you and your partner want. You’re officially a team when you get married, but if you’ve been together for some time already, you need to have your partner’s back. Otherwise, your boyfriend will start thinking you can’t make choices for yourself.
  9. You’re really dramatic. Have you been known to have a public meltdown over something insignificant? If it’s happened more than once, you may have gained a bad reputation. Your boyfriend might not trust you with news since he knows you may exaggerate for attention. It’s one thing to be showy, but if you’re acting like your life is a CW teen drama? You need to settle down a bit and become a little more mature.
  10. You share everything on Instagram. Some people believe that if it doesn’t get a bunch of likes, it’s like it didn’t happen. Instead, live in the moment. Take pictures of the two of you as a personal keepsake, and not a way to get likes. Try out new restaurants based on the food they have on the menu, not necessarily the ambiance and decor that’ll make it social media-worthy. Live in the moment for once. Otherwise, your boyfriend is going to start thinking that your entire life is fabricated. He might not trust you if you live every day like a faux-Influencer.
Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Speech Communication with a focus in Broadcasting and Print Media Studies from Millersville University of Pennsylvania. Since graduating, she has written for sites like LittleThings, HelloGiggles, and Scary Mommy and is currently an e-commerce editor at Bustle.

When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz or on Instagram @karenbelz.