We’d been together for a while and I thought things were going well in our relationship. Apparently, I was wrong. After one of our date nights, we shared an amazing kiss that left me weak in the knees, but not for a good reason. When I looked at my boyfriend’s face, the expression I saw definitely wasn’t the one I wanted. In fact, it marked the beginning of the end for us.
He pulled away at the end of our kiss.
I could tell from his face that he wasn’t feeling the bliss that I was feeling. He looked down and seemed a bit spaced out. Geez, had the kiss been that bad? Now I was really freaking out. He said goodbye and thanked me for our date, then sped off in his car, leaving me inhaling car fumes. What the hell was going on? From worrying that the kiss hadn’t been good, now I was worrying that he was over dating me. We’d been dating for about two months.
He texted me the next day and dropped a bomb.
I didn’t want to get in touch and ask if he was okay because it just felt stupid, so I left it. The next day, he sent me a text that said he’d had a great time and had really enjoyed the kiss. That was good so far… but then he dropped a bomb. He went on to say that he felt the kiss had been too good. Um, what? He also said that he was feeling more for me every time he saw me, which was apparently a problem.
I didn’t understand this guy.
He ended the conversation by saying that we should stop seeing each other because he was in love with me. Riiiiiiight. Clearly he was totally lying to me to get me off his back. The thing is, I did feel that my feelings for him had been reciprocated during the time we’d been together. We’d been having a fantastic time together and we really had a lot in common. We checked each other’s boxes and sometimes even finished each other’s sentences, so what the hell was going on??
It really hurt.
I wasn’t sure if he had been honest with me or not, but I still had my doubts. It just didn’t make sense to me for someone to love you but leave you. No way. I soon realized that he was a coward. Maybe he was “afraid of love” or something (I always think that’s a total copout). But even if he was consumed by fear, he should have behaved differently and treated me in a much better way.
He should have said no to our relationship from the start.
I know it’s everyone’s right to change their mind, but this guy made me feel like he’d just been using me when it was convenient for him. Was he that out of touch with what he really wanted that he only realized that he didn’t want me two months into our relationship? I mean, there were zero warning signs!
He never really loved me.
Fact! I think this guy had a warped idea of what love is supposed to be like. I think he liked me, perhaps, but he never really loved me. If he had, he would’ve dated me and not been afraid to take that leap. I really believe that because there’s no way in hell that I would’ve turned him down and let someone else snap him up. We were clearly on totally different pages in completely different books!
In a way, he did me a favor.
Look, the guy was a coward for sure, but he also did me a favor by letting me know he didn’t want to be with me pretty early on. Imagine if he’d continued dating me for months or even years! At least in this way, I dodged a bullet and could move on with my life. The pain was reduced and I didn’t have to be stuck with it. Heck, I deserved to get out of that relationship as soon as possible for my own sanity.
He wanted to be friends.
That was so not what I wanted. Honestly, it felt amazing to block him on social media and forget about him. When he told me that he wanted to be friends, I said, “I see you as the most amazing friend, which is why I can’t be your friend.” Ha, take that.
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