My Boyfriend Has A Female Roommate & I’m Freaking Out About It

My boyfriend just got a new roommate and she happens to be a woman. I wouldn’t normally get so obsessive about who my boyfriend’s splitting rent with, but the fact that he’s living with someone who’s hot and available is stressing me out.

Why did it have to be a woman?

 Out of all the applicants, why did my boyfriend and his other roommate (who’s also a guy) have to choose a woman? All of this could have been avoided if they’d picked another guy. Why does she want to live with a bunch of guys anyway? I’ve lived with guys before and the house was always a mess. It was awful. The fact that she’s opting to live with guys makes me kinda suspicious of her motives.

He had a hand in picking the roommate.

The fact that he chose her over everyone else who applied makes me super worried. Why would he choose to live with a woman, and why this woman in particular? Surely there were some guys who applied who were just as nice,  responsible, and clean as she is. Why her? My mind is spinning.

She’s super pretty and smart.

I wouldn’t mind so much if she was super nerdy and unattractive but she’s not. She’s a beautiful, fit dancer who’s literally drop-dead gorgeous. I can’t help but compare myself to her. Just thinking about this girl and my boyfriend getting friendly with each other is totally freaking me out.

I find myself acting super passive-aggressive when she’s around.

I always give a little side-eye when I’m at my boyfriend’s house and all the roommates are hanging out. I just don’t trust this woman and I can’t tell whether it’s just because she’s a woman or because I’m sincerely suspicious of her. My boyfriend thinks I’m overreacting, but I don’t think I am at ALL. Anyone in my situation would feel weird about it and I need him to understand how inappropriate this is.

He doesn’t see why it’s a big deal to me.

I’ve talked to my boyfriend about my discomfort with the whole situation before but he keeps brushing off my concerns. There must be a reason I’m feeling this way, though. My intuition is telling me that something’s not right and I should take that seriously. I just wish he would too.

Nothing is forever and that’s why I’m scared.

I’m not naive—it’s rare that a relationship lasts forever. Even marriages that have lasted decades end in divorce, so how could I possibly think that him living with a woman isn’t a threat? Any girl would feel the same, I’m sure. I’m just waiting for the day when I find out he cheated and I won’t even have to think twice on who it was. I’ll just know it was her.

He’s cheated before so why wouldn’t he do it again?

Everyone has cheated at least once in their lives, and if you say you haven’t, you’re lying. Yes, emotional cheating is still considered cheating, at least in my eyes. I’ve cheated before and I know he has too. It’s in our DNA to cheat, so why wouldn’t he jump on this perfectly convenient opportunity to do it in the comfort of his own home? Honestly.

There’s something fishy about her.

You might be reading this and thinking, “Jesus, this girl is paranoid AF, she needs to just calm down and take a breath.” The thing is, I wouldn’t normally be this obsessive. It’s just that there’s something very suspicious about this girl and I can’t seem to put my finger on it. It doesn’t seem like she wants to get to know me or be my friend. There’s something that’s just not right about her and it’s making me more paranoid than usual.

She’s single and looking.

It doesn’t exactly help that she’s not in a relationship. I would be totally fine with this situation if she had a long-term boyfriend. Hell, I’m sure the four of us would double date and it would be a blast. She’s all alone and likely looking for someone, though—of course she’d jump at the chance to get with her attractive male roommate. Ugh, I have a problem.

It’s not like I can ask him to not hang out with her.

Even though it’s kinda crazy behavior, I wouldn’t be above banning my boyfriend from hanging out with girls who I perceive to be a threat. In this case, I can’t do anything about it because they effing live together. When I’m not with him, my mind is just racing with all the things they might be doing back at the apartment. Ugh.

I guarantee he’d freak out if I lived with a guy.

If I had a male roommate, he definitely wouldn’t be OK with it. He’s acting like this set-up is no big deal when it’s actually a HUGE deal and he would be able to see that if I was living with a guy.

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