My Boyfriend & I Got Sober Together & We Should Have Done It Sooner

My boyfriend and I recently decided to stop drinking. We initially did it in order to focus on our physical health, but it had some surprising benefits for our relationship too. Here are eight ways it made us a better couple.

  1. We stopped having drunk fights. This is a pretty obvious one. If you watch any amount of trashy reality television, you’ll find yourself rolling your eyes at couples who constantly drink and then have a huge fight about pretty much nothing. Do they even remember what they fought about the next day? We sometimes didn’t. Once we quit boozing it up, there were no ridiculous fights anymore.
  2. We also stopped fighting as much the next couple of days. I have two theories about this. One is that the fight from the previous night didn’t carry over anymore; the other is that we just feel so much better physically and mentally that we don’t snap at each other for silly reasons. When you’re in a better mood and you feel better physically, you’re less likely to snap at your partner for leaving the cap off the toothpaste or eating the last of your favorite snack.
  3. We were more productive together. With all our newfound energy, we started keeping up with cleaning our apartment more often, going to the gym together, reading, and even finding new hobbies. This led to a sense of accomplishment together, which definitely brought us closer. We also didn’t fight as much about chores and the things we needed to take care of. We were both more motivated to get stuff done that needed to be done.
  4. We found new stuff to do together. Since most of our friends were out drinking, we had to find other stuff to do. We discovered podcasts, Netflix documentaries, and board games. Trying new things together helped us bond, and now we have some hobbies in common! Before our hobbies were all separate, which is totally fine, but now we have more things to talk about.
  5. We learned to cook. Since we weren’t constantly going out to eat or out for drinks with our friends, we were kind of forced to learn to cook. We started looking up recipes, watching cooking videos, and had to buy a set of measuring cups! Another thing we can do together, and another thing we bonded over!
  6. We started getting healthier. Not only did we both lose a little weight from skipping all the high-calorie drinks, we also felt good enough to start going to the gym more often! We encouraged each other a lot in the gym and I think it helped us both with our self-confidence. As we spent more time in the gym, we found that we were complimenting each other a lot more and our attraction to each other grew stronger week by week. Not only did our bodies improve but our attitudes did as well.  It was definitely a win-win!
  7. We spent more time just the two of us. Going out drinking was always a large group activity for us and quitting forced us to spend more time on our own as a couple. We had to spend a lot more time talking to each other and we started learning more about each other. He told me all about his life growing up and I confessed some of the trauma I’d been through. Learning more about each other and the things that make us tick helped our relationship grow and develop into something better. We also definitely have had a lot more deep conversations and snuggle sessions than we used to!
  8. We cut out the negative influences in our lives. You know those friends who always start drama or who are always questioning your relationship? Those are usually the same friends who are buying you more shots and asking you to go out to the clubs. When we quit drinking, those people naturally got cut out of our lives and our relationship was better for it! We decided to start surrounding ourselves with people who were positive influences on our lives and shared similar goals and hobbies. They say the people you surround yourself with influence who you are, and we realized pretty quickly that this was true once we started actively making choices about who we spent time with. We’re more productive and in line with our goals these days!
I love to write on my laptop with my cat on my lap and a cup of tea nearby :)