To The Boyfriend I’m About To Move In With — Here’s The Deal

Things are going really well with my boyfriend — so well, in fact, that we’re we’re finally moving in together. I can’t wait come home to him every night and wake up in the same place every morning, but there are some things he needs to know before we share an address.

  1. Yes, I do need all of these shampoos, conditioners, and moisturizers in the shower. One is to clean, one is to smooth the frizz, one is to prevent razor burn stubble, one is to gradually tan my skin… you get the picture. They all have their purpose. Do not touch them.
  2. If you delete any my shows off of the DVR before I’ve watched them, you’re dead. There’s nothing more disappointing than coming home and throwing on some sweatpants in preparation to watch The Real Housewives of Wherever and finding out that the three weeks of recordings have been deleted. I know that you don’t understand how I can watch this stuff, but I do. Deal with it and leave it there.
  3. I have a morning ritual. Whether I’m blasting Adele while in the shower or doing a quick morning yoga session, I have things that help me start my morning off on the right foot. Accept it and embrace it. I need something to motivate me to get to work on Monday.
  4. Yes, girls poop. I may have been able to hide this “secret” from you before, but now we share a bathroom. Sorry not sorry.
  5. I don’t care that it’s only Wednesday. Wednesday is my wine night. Wine Wednesday is a thing. Sometimes I like to hang out in my yoga pants with a bottle of wine so I can feel a little bit like Olivia Pope. I’m not a booze hound, I just like my fruit servings to be in liquid form.
  6. I can’t have enough pairs of jeans, shoes, or tops. If it fits perfectly, I’ll buy it. You may only need two pairs of jeans, but I need a dark pair, a skinny pair, a distressed pair, a white pair, etc. Fashion is my thing. Just let me have three fourths of the closet. In exchange, I won’t complain when it’s football season.
  7. I don’t mean to shed so much hair, but it happens. It’s not like I don’t try to scoop whatever ends up in the shower drain out. I’m surprised I’m not bald yet from how much I shed, too!
  8. My cooking doesn’t always go as smoothly as I make it look.Remember the night when you came over and there was an amazing prime rib sitting on the table? Well, before you got here there were about four mental breakdowns and 15 calls to my mom for help. I’m not Rachael Ray, but I try!
  9. Beware, there”ll be bobby pins and hair elastics EVERYWHERE.I don’t know how they got under the dresser either, but they just do! The location of where my bobby pins go is a mystery even to me.
Shelby is a New England girl who loves mimosas, edamame, new bras, and her Yorkie, Jack.