My Boyfriend Loves My Ambition & Makes Me Feel So Empowered—This Is How It Should Be

Unlike most guys, my boyfriend is totally cool with having a girlfriend who knows exactly what she wants. My exes were always intimidated by my ambition and success but not him. He fully supports my #LadyBoss attitude and it makes me feel super empowered and strong.

  1. He gets involved in my interests. He doesn’t brush my hobbies off as being lame or “too girly.” My exes used to roll their eyes if I asked them to go shopping or bake a cake with me but my current boyfriend is totally into it. I like doing stereotypically girly things and shouldn’t have to apologize for that. I really appreciate how he engages with my hobbies doesn’t run away or get embarrassed about it.
  2. He appreciates my independence. Some guys get worried when their partner is too independent. They’ll either get jealous or start to feel insecure about their own abilities. It’s awesome because my current boyfriend tells me all the time that he likes how self-sufficient I am and that he thinks it’s cool that I’ve made it so far on my own.
  3. He always asks me for advice on his career. He holds my opinions very highly and that makes me feel respected and empowered. I’m an entrepreneur, so I know a thing or two about establishing yourself in the business world. He asks for my advice all the time and doesn’t get weird about it like my exes did. It feels great to be with a guy who’s so secure in himself.
  4. He’s very specific with his compliments. I never realized how much I appreciated this until he did it. He doesn’t just tell me that I’m beautiful or amazing, he’ll specifically say things like, “The fact that you run your own business is incredible” or, “You have beautiful eyes.” It’s always specific, which makes me feel like he truly appreciates me.
  5. He’s never the reason I get upset. I have this belief that if your partner is the main reason you cry, it has to end. Thankfully, my boyfriend is the one making me feel better when I get upset and is rarely if ever the reason why I get into a bad mood.
  6. He always backs me up. I see couples all the time who rip on each other and throw each other under the bus to gain approval from others. My ex used to do that and it honestly shook me to my core. I would never know what to say back and would feel totally betrayed. I mean, how would you feel if your own partner turned on you in front of your friends? Not very nice at all. My current boyfriend respects me enough as a person to always take my side, even if he doesn’t morally agree with what I’m saying. It’s just the right thing to do and it makes me feel like he’s truly on my side.
  7. He’s just as excited as I am when I follow my passions. He shares the same excitement as I do when I’m doing something I love. He doesn’t get jealous or put me down for having fun without him. He just wants to make sure I’m happy.
  8. He isn’t afraid of my success. He doesn’t let his ego get in the way when I get successful. A lot of guys get weird when their girlfriends make more money than them or moves forward in their career quicker than they do. It doesn’t mean anything to my guy, though. He’s just happy to support me and knows I’ll always be his number one cheerleader too.
  9. He appreciates all sides of me. A lot of my exes would only praise me when I’m being nice, compliant, and feminine. Although I am a bit of a girly-girl, I also have a more aggressive, masculine side to me, especially in my professional life. I can tell that he sincerely appreciates all sides of me, which makes me feel comfortable showing him my whole self.
  10. He actually listens to me. Knowing that he cares about what I’m saying and what I think about things makes me feel like a powerful lady. Even though I come off as a space cadet, I’m actually very intelligent and he recognizes that. A lot of my exes saw me as a girl who had no idea what she was saying or doing, but not him.
  11. He doesn’t think my goals are crazy or out of reach. My exes would always be intimidated by my plans for the future. I want to move to a big city and become a professional writer and work for the biggest publications out there. Instead of stepping up themselves, my previous boyfriends would get intimidated and step away so that they wouldn’t be overshadowed by my success. My current boyfriend isn’t scared of a little competition and is actually proud of how driven I am. It feels great.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.