My Boyfriend Can’t Stop Making Jokes During Sex & It’s A Total Turn-Off

I’m down for a good laugh every now and then, but for some reason, I can’t handle it when my boyfriend makes jokes during sex.

  1. Sex already makes me nervous and his jokes make it worse. I’m already a little weird about sex and his awkward sexual humor just makes me cringe even more. Whenever we’re in bed being intimate, he always does annoying things like dirty talk but in a weird accent or patting my butt like he’s a cat. I wish I was kidding about this but I’m not.
  2. I makes me totally shut down. Whenever he does these cringy things in bed, I just want to hide my face in a pillow. It’s like all the heat and passion we were building up screeches to a halt and I’m just waiting for him to stop with the bit so we can get back to business.
  3. It’s actually embarrassing. It honestly mortifies me when he does stuff like this and it’s not even funny! It would be different if his joking around actually made me laugh, but instead it just makes me roll my eyes. I’m already in a vulnerable position, being naked and all. Why can’t he take that seriously?
  4. It’s just so typical that guys don’t take sex seriously. I guess I should remember that sex for women tends to be a bigger deal than it is for men. I’m not saying that’s true across the board, but generally speaking, I feel like it’s pretty spot-on. I don’t know about you, but for me, sex is a sacred thing. It’s like the ultimate moment of connection between two people—to bring immature jokes into the equation just seems inappropriate to me.
  5. It makes me think that he’s literally making fun of me. I’ve always had this complex where I think people are judging me. It’s a permanent feeling that never seems to go away. I remember feeling like this since high school so I guess I’m sensitive when people joke around—and making fart noises during sex is like the worst possible form of that.
  6. I figure he’s doing it because he’s insecure about his own sexuality. I can’t really blame him for making light of something like sex. A lot of people feel embarrassed to flirt or be sexual in the bedroom. I get it. It actually took me a while to own my sexuality and to be able to express that side of me without feeling silly about it.
  7. It makes me feel like a kid, which is weird. No wonder why I get turned off instantly when he does this. The way he jokes around and teases me in bed reminds me of what an adult would do to a kid. Stuff like, “Whoops, got your nose!” is NOT hot or hilarious. I mean, I’m a 28-year-old woman, not a 5-year-old. Treating sex like a funny thing makes me feel like I’m back in elementary school running from boys with cooties.
  8. The sex isn’t good. It’s full of fits and starts. It’ll be great one second and then he’ll make an awkward comment and then the sexual energy totally dies. The sex was never great to begin with and I guess he’s thinking that if he makes me laugh, it’ll make the experience a bit better. He’s very wrong.
  9. Nothing turns me off faster than his “jokes.” Some girls are turned on by a guy with a good sense of humor. Don’t get me wrong, I love a guy who’s funny, but NOT during sex. It’s hard for me to get off when I’m feeling nervous or insecure, and I feel like I’m often feeling awkward and closed off when I’m with him.
  10. It makes me think what we’re doing is wrong. I get this feeling that he’s not totally comfortable during sex which is why he jokes about it. But when he makes fun of what we’re doing, it makes me think that he sees sex as a bad thing, like we shouldn’t be doing it, which is a huge turn-off for me.
  11. It’s like he’s not appreciating the situation. I thought that sex was the most important aspect of a relationship for guys? When my boyfriend does things like jokingly licking his lips or mocking stuff he sees on TV while he’s inside me, it’s like, does he even want to have sex right now? Does he care? Ugh.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.