Is Your Boyfriend More Of A Friend? 11 Signs The Spark Is Gone

You might love your BF, but are you really in love with him? Your relationship might be heading for the friend-zone without you even realizing it. Here are 11 signs he’s more your friend than boyfriend.

  1. You prefer to chill rather than go on dates. It’s cool to chill out together on the weekends, but when last did you guys do something romantic like go on a date? If it feels like too much effort or you just don’t want to be seen in public with your partner, those are major red flags.
  2. There’s no romance. It’s not just going on dates that matter. If you treat each other more like friends or acquaintances than romantic partners, that’s a problem. You should always make each other feel special by flirting or complimenting each other. If you don’t show each other that you still like and love each other, that’s not a good sign. Another important part of romance is to show appreciation for each other. Instead of just calling him to check in or say “hey” as a friend would do, you should call him to hear his voice and because you miss him. He should want to do the same thing with you.
  3. You never properly kiss. You might give each other a peck on the cheek, but where’s the passionate kissing? That’s a really important way for you to bond, plus it’ll release endorphins and make you feel the butterflies you experienced when you first started dating. Sometimes a great kiss can even be better than sex. 
  4. You don’t care how you look around him anymore. It’s awesome to reach that point in your relationship where you don’t have to do your hair or makeup to impress your partner. Instead, you can feel comfortable being yourself 100%. That being said, if you don’t feel like making an effort to look your best for him every now and then, this probably isn’t a good sign.
  5. You don’t make a texting effort. Just because you and your BF spend time together often, it doesn’t mean you should stop making an effort when it comes to texting. If you’re sending each other one-word answers or not replying to each other’s texts for hours because you figure you’ll just see each other on the weekend anyway, you’re becoming lazy.
  6. You fart in front of each other all the time. It’s fine to fart once in a while. It might even make you feel you’ve hit an important relationship milestone because you’re so comfortable around each other and you can laugh about little embarrassing things. However, it’s a problem if you’re always farting or burping in front of each other. It’s like you’re treating each other like siblings rather than romantic partners.
  7. You never have sex. If it’s been weeks or months since you got jiggy, you should ask yourself why. Although you might be fine with going for long periods of time without seeing each other naked, you’re missing out on an important way to bond both physically and emotionally. It’s especially a problem if you used to have a pretty regular and satisfying relationship but lately you’re going through a sex rut.
  8. You do your own thing at home. You might live together but are you really living as a couple? If you eat in different rooms or spend most of your time at home without being in each other’s presence, you’re nothing more than roomies. You should feel like you’re sharing your lives with each other, not just sharing an apartment so that you can do your own thing.
  9. He doesn’t call you “baby” anymore. When he changes his nickname for you from something sweet and romantic to something he could very well use on one of his male mates because it’s more of a teasing nickname, that’s not a good sign. This can actually be a symptom of how your relationship has downgraded from LTR to friendship. It’s even more telling if his nickname is something insulting (although he calls it “a joke”). That’s called “negging” and it can be a sign that he’s checking out of the relationship.
  10. You’re always hanging out with other people. When last did you have a one-on-one outing? If it’s been too long because you’re always spending time with other friends or going on group dates, that could be a sign that you’re both a bit bored with the relationship. Maybe you’re looking to your social circle to make you feel good again.
  11. You don’t have much to talk about. Sure, you talk about how your days were, what you’re up to on the weekend, and where you want to go for your annual vacation but you don’t actually talk about deeper things. Gone are the days when you could talk for hours on the phone. When the communication starts to change, it’s a sign that your relationship is also changing. Maybe it’s not for the better. Or, maybe it is—maybe you actually want to end things because you’re just not in love with your partner anymore.


Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.