My Boyfriend Quit His Job For Me But I’d Never Do The Same For Him

My boyfriend and I were in a long-distance relationship for years and have only recently moved in together. He relocated from the other side of the country and quit his job just to be with me which is really sweet, but I have to admit that I probably wouldn’t have done the same for him.

  1. He insisted on moving—I didn’t force him. I actually thought he was crazy to move all the way across the country just so we could move in together. We’d met online years ago and despite living on opposite coasts, we managed to visit each other multiple times. He brought up the idea that we should move in together and I panicked, thinking he wanted me to move to California. Thankfully, he was talking about moving to the east coast. I tried to talk him out of it but he was adamant about giving it a shot. Who was I to argue?
  2. My line of work is highly specialized. I don’t think I could quit my job even if I wanted to. My main gig is as a copywriter for a marketing firm specializing in trade show displays. Random, right? My resume is mostly marketing copy work, so unless there’s a firm that needs information written about trade show displays, I’m a jobless girl.
  3. I’ve worked too hard to throw it all away. Women have it harder than men when it comes to climbing the ladder in pretty much every industry. Things are slowly changing, but we’re not nearly where we should be. I’ll still sometimes put a gender-neutral name on my resume just so I can be sure that being a woman doesn’t affect how I’m viewed. I’m not willing to give up all the progress I’ve made so far just so I can be with a guy.
  4. I’d feel like a total cliche if I moved for him. Moving across the country and leaving my life here behind just for the shot at making a relationship work is such a ’90s rom-com cliche and I’m not down with it. The girl gives up on the relationship and “runs away” to pursue her dreams only to be rescued by a white knight who says something dumb like, “Why are you running away? Everything you need is right here!” It makes me gag, to be honest.
  5. I’m anxious AF about what might happen if we break up. The fact that my boyfriend is moving all this way and quitting his job just so he can be with me puts a sizeable knot in my stomach. It just doesn’t feel good. What if things don’t turn out the way he’d hoped and then he blames it all on me? How much would that suck? Ugh. I just don’t want him to expect too much out of this, especially since he’s giving up everything for me.
  6. Maybe it’s a sign I don’t love him as much as I thought I did. I’m kinda concerned that I’m more scared of him quitting his job than I am flattered or excited by it. Maybe the fact that he’s making such a huge, life-changing decision in such a blase manner is what’s freaking me out. I honestly can’t believe he’d do something that extreme, especially for someone he’s never actually lived with before. I’d never do something like that, and it’s making me doubt my feelings.
  7. People change, but at least your career is somewhat in your control. I’ve learned a lot from my past relationships, and one thing I know for sure is that nothing in love is guaranteed. Whether it’s natural evolution as people or specific circumstances that shift and make your relationship impossible or undesirable, relationships end all the time. At least with a career, you have a good amount of control over how long you stay there. The harder and longer you work at something, the more successful you’ll likely become. Sure, there are cutbacks and people do get fired out of the blue, but most of the time it’s because they’re just straight up not good employees. I prefer not to gamble with my future over a relationship.
  8. He’s not doing what he really wants to do and I could never live with that. My career is more than just my job—it’s what I do and what I love, and I see any job I have as a stepping stone to something bigger. My boyfriend quit his and now he’s starting back at ground zero at a place he doesn’t even like, all in the name of love? Doesn’t seem like a good idea to me.
  9. I’m grateful that he was the one to do it in the end. All of these things aside, I’ll always be grateful to him for being the bigger person and moving over here in the name of our relationship, even if I think it’s a little nuts. Who knows, maybe it’ll all work out.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.