My Boyfriend & I Spend Way Too Much Time Together & It’s Destroying Us

My boyfriend and I moved in together only a few weeks after we started dating. It seemed like a great idea at the time; it was super romantic and just felt right. It’s safe to say I was in love with him then, but now that we’ve shared an apartment for three months, I seriously can’t stand the sight of him.

  1. I’m starting to sincerely hate him. I used to love everything about him, but I can feel myself starting to get mad at him for no reason or roll my eyes at him and I seriously think it’s because we’re just spending way too much time together. I can’t even hang out with my best friend 24/7 without getting sick of her and needing a break. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but we’re not giving each other a chance to do that.
  2. We work together too so it’s double torture. We live together and are currently working on a work project together so it’s basically impossible to get away from one another. It’s weird because we’re doing a lot of menial tasks together and that can kind of put a damper on a relationship. We don’t even feel like doing fun things together anymore because we’re just aching for some time apart.
  3. I feel like there’s no mystery left in the relationship. There’s nothing left to discover. We’ve experienced every little thing there is to experience in a relationship already and that sucks. You know when you hit a wall in relationships? I feel like we hit that wall a long time ago and now we just don’t know what to do with ourselves. We didn’t let the relationship get deep naturally, we kinda forced it by living together right away and spending all of our time together. Now I feel like it’s doomed to end.
  4. My friends don’t call on me anymore. I would blow off my friends in the beginning because I sincerely wanted to spend all of my time with my new love, but I kinda regret doing that because now my friends are nowhere to be found. I really wish I wasn’t the kinda girl who abandons her friends the second she gets into a relationship, but I guess I am. I really wish I paid more attention to my friends when I had the chance because now I just feel stuck.
  5. We’re like an old married couple and it’s only been three months. I find that about a year or so into a relationship is when you start to have these thoughts like, “OK, is this person really for me?” You either fix things or break it off around this point. Moving in together right away was a big mistake because I feel like the romance died way too quickly.
  6. I’m bored as hell and there’s nothing he can do to surprise me. It’s nice when you know your partner like the back of your own hand because you can anticipate what will upset them and you learn how to deal with their unique personality. However, nothing surprises me about my partner anymore and I feel like our relationship is getting boring because of it.
  7. We’re using each other as a security blanket. Being in a relationship is great, but it can also get too comfortable. We’re totally using each other as security blankets because we’re codependent and it’s not healthy. I know in my deepest of hearts that it’s not good for us to be doing this but for some reason, I can’t seem to cut the cord. If we separate from each other, I’ll feel like a huge piece of me would be missing. On the other hand, my life would be a lot more exciting…
  8. I yearn for the freedom of my single days. I remember those single days when I could make a mess without someone being on my case to clean it up. I could watch a movie by myself and not worry if my partner would like it. I could be as weird as I want to without being judged. When you’re in a relationship, you aren’t truly free to be totally yourself. I mean, that would be ideal and that’s probably what they mean by unconditional love, but realistically, you can’t have total privacy unless you’re totally single and that’s what I want more than anything right now.
  9. We’ve run out of things to talk about. In the beginning, we had the most interesting, in-depth conversations. I felt like every time we got together, we would discover something new about each other. It seems as though we’ve run out of things to talk about and the only “new things” that are popping up are work-related and boring. There’s nothing worse than uncomfortable silences that neither of you knows how to fill. We’re pretty much doomed, right?
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.