I know what you’re thinking, but having my boyfriend track my periods isn’t as strange as it sounds. It’s time to woman up and realize that periods are natural and that talking about them with the person you’re in a relationship (or at least sleeping with) shouldn’t be gross or uncomfortable. Besides, the conversation might just improve your sex life—it’s certainly improved mine.
- When I switched to a copper IUD, my body went haywire so his tracking helps. One of the worst experiences of my life was quitting birth control pills and inserting an IUD. It was so painful that I’m rethinking the child-rearing thing, but that’s a story for a different time. After the switch, I didn’t have a pill regulating my periods or hormones. I also lost my method of tracking the impending period week, so my boyfriend’s diligence comes in handy.
- I’m terrible at tracking it for myself. Like a true millennial, I looked to my phone for answers. After Googling and reading reviews, I decided to download an app called Flo since it was the first app to pop up in the App Store. You’re supposed to fill it out every day and that was just too much commitment for me and I lapsed more often than not.
- My boyfriend took over, though I didn’t realize it at first. Since my boyfriend and I live together and we’re pretty much BFFs, I complained to him about yet another pair of ruined underwear and, like the fixer I love him for being, he downloaded an app without telling me and then awkwardly hinted about periods days before mine would start.
- Thankfully, he chose a female-friendly app. He chose the app Clue. Not surprisingly, there are a lot of misogynistic apps geared towards men that help you determine when women are… let’s say “receptive to advances.” Clue was recommended by women and I wasn’t offended by what I found.
- The more info he documented, the more we got. For each day app users complete a series of questions, the app takes your answers and gives you summaries on what’s average for you (or in his case, his partner). Since I’m his top interest in life, he became intrigued by the inner workings of the female body. He went down the internet rabbit hole to learn everything he could about periods.
- We both learned that periods are about the whole cycle. There’s a part of your monthly cycle called the Luteal phase (I don’t remember learning this in health class, either). It’s the week following your fertile window when an unfertilized egg exits your body, meaning you have no sex drive. In learning this, my boyfriend changed his mindset about our sex life.
- I wasn’t as stressed about sex, which led to more of it. He didn’t expect ANY sexy-time during my luteal phase. Theoretically, most of your sex drive kicks in while in the fertile window, thanks to biology and hormones. When your egg drops, so does your libido. Your body doesn’t see any need for it. After learning this, I wasn’t stressed about having/wanting enough sex anymore. We had an understanding that during this week, I don’t get horny. I didn’t feel any pressure, which made me want to connect with him even more.
- BTW, your cervix lowers during your Luteal phase. Your cervix literally moves closer to your vagina, which is the reason that he suddenly feels like twice his normal size—you’ve shrunk! I thought I was crazy but actually, my body was moving and changing. I suggest keeping it slow and romantic at this phase in your cycle to avoid pain. After hearing this info, I was so calmed that I queued up the slow music and lit a few candles.
- This was a learning experience for the both of us. With this recent understanding of all these different phases, I became more confident in myself as a sexual being. Understanding biology comforts me and explains any idiosyncrasies. I feel at ease with the way I am. In turn, my boyfriend learned more about me and is more aware of, well, basically everything. He reads me better, asks me more questions, and provides me with what I need emotionally and physically. It’s a huge turn-on.
- Clue gets five stars from this couple. By the third natural period, we’d collected enough data and I was able to put my Diva cup in the day my period started. Underwear saved! I suggest telling your S.O. to download a period tracking app. It’s opened new doors for us. Our friendship is stronger because we have more real conversations about emotions and body awareness. The sex is more frequent due to lack of stress around meeting expectations (for both parties). Most importantly, I get homemade lattes in bed after late nights getting busy.