My Boyfriend Told Me “We Have To Talk”—Then I Never Heard From Him Again

I knew something was wrong. For a while, my BF had been acting a little distant and always looked preoccupied. I worried something was wrong with our relationship as I always do when guys pull back, but I also knew that if that was the case, he’d have to man up and tell me, right? Wrong! Here’s what happened instead.

  1. I had to take the steering wheel. I started to get worried when he seemed weird for longer than two weeks. Was the dude depressed or something? He wasn’t telling me anything, so I picked up the phone and asked him. He said we had to talk but he was busy at soccer practice and would call me later.
  2. “Later” never came. I felt like such a chump because I cleared out my evening to wait for him to call me. Clearly something serious was going on. I worried about what it could be and made sure my phone was with me at all times so that I wouldn’t miss his call. But then he never called me.
  3. Uh, WTF? I didn’t sleep that night. I tossed and turned, wondering why he’d do something like that. A person doesn’t just forget to call their GF to have a serious conversation with her. Clearly he’d just been leading me on. Ugh, what a loser!
  4. He never called the next day either. Or the days after that. I was so torn up, wondering what had happened and even what I’d done wrong. I couldn’t help thinking in that way. It was so strange to be in this situation, with someone who didn’t want to know me and didn’t even want to tell me why!
  5. It felt worse than being ghosted. It would’ve been bad enough if the guy had just stopped taking my calls from one day to the next. But the way he’d spoken to me when I’d reached out to him and told me we could talk had led me on, making me think that we were still a team and we’d work out whatever was the problem. To then disappear on me after that was such a low blow.
  6. It screwed up my chance at closure. I needed and deserved closure after he broke up with me—if you can even call it “breaking up”… Ugh, it was so confusing. I was left with so many questions after he went AWOL, wondering what had been on his mind, why he’d changed his mind about talking to me, why he’d do something like that after five months of dating, and so on. Ugh!
  7. He dumped me with his baggage. OK, so obviously the guy dumped me even though it had been done in such a cowardly, confusing way. But worse than that, he’d dumped all his emotional baggage on me. He was able to walk away from this relationship without any questions and trauma, leaving it all on my doorstep. What a douchebag.
  8. Breakups reveal who people really are. It’s quite a sad truth. When this guy was courting me and madly in love with me, he was such a nice guy. But when he no longer felt romantic feelings for me, he changed, becoming a total jerk who gave me no empathy or kindness. It just goes to show how he’d had a hidden agenda to want to charm me when it suited him. By breaking up with me in such a disgusting way, he showed me who he really was – a total jerk I’d never want to be with.
  9. I knew someday he’d come back. It’s weird but I always had this feeling that sooner or later, he’d come back. At first it was just a hopeful, pathetic thing I’d tell myself to get me through the breakup. But then after a while when I stopped giving a damn about him, I still felt that he’d return someday. It was a gut feeling. Maybe I figured since things had been left hanging, we’d have to deal with the situation at some point. Maybe I hoped that he wouldn’t be able to move on without any baggage. He deserved to have some of it.
  10. He resurfaced years later. He sent me a Facebook friend request three years after disappearing. WTF? It’s crazy and I couldn’t believe it. I obviously ignored his request, only to receive a message from him. In it, he said that he missed me and I was “the one who’d got away” but he wished things had turned out differently. Are you kidding me? He hadn’t even had the decency to apologize!
  11. I was the one he pushed away, for God’s sake. His message infuriated me. How could he have treated me so badly and pushed me away like I’d been nothing to him, only for him to come back and claim that I’d got away? Was he on drugs or delusional? It was too convenient for him to paint himself as the victim in all this. I couldn’t believe that I’d liked this guy at one point in my life! I replied to his message and told him that he’d lost his chance with me because of his own actions, but that it had been the best thing for me and I was the happiest I’d ever been. God, it felt so good to tell him this. Finally, I’d given myself some closure, by slamming a door in his face and blocking his ass on Facebook. The jerk deserved it.



Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.