My Boyfriend Doesn’t Treat Me Like He Used To & It’s Depressing AF

How do you know that you’re out of the honeymoon phase and you’ve reached the comfortable stage of your relationship? Well, your BF will start treating you pretty differently—at least mine did.

  1. He’s less attentive. I remember the days (not too long ago) where he used to hang onto my every word—on date nights, on the end of the phone, and whenever we were in big groups. Now he seems to switch off really easily when I’m talking. Have I suddenly become boring to listen to? I don’t think so—I just think he realizes that he doesn’t have to try and make a good impression anymore.
  2. He doesn’t text back as often (or as quickly). He used to be so on it with his phone whenever we were apart. Gone are the days where his communication is top notch; now I’m lucky if I even get a text back, and if I do, it will take (what feels like) an age to come through. Come on, BF — quit slacking!
  3. He makes less effort with his appearance. On our first date, my BF wore a suit and looked divine. Now I never see him wearing a suit for date nights even if we head out somewhere rather fancy. In fact, I rarely see him dress up. It’s usually jeans and a tee or a casual shirt job like he’s almost lost the will to want to look nice for me. Methinks he needs to have a quiet word with himself.
  4. He doesn’t plan dates anymore. Six months ago, he used to love taking me here, there, and everywhere on fun dates and excursions. Now, he’s happy to sit at home with Netflix and takeout every weekend. I get that he’s super comfy in my company and it should be flattering, but it was so nice to be whisked away every now and again.
  5. He forgets things. Anniversaries, appointments, important things going on in my life… my BF doesn’t remember anything anymore when he used to remember every little thing all the time. Has he had a memory transplant? I don’t think so. I think he’s just stopped trying so hard.
  6. He goes out with his friends more than he does with me. I originally thought that in the early stages of a relationship, you were supposed to see less of each other and more of your friends. After all, you’re still getting to know each other and building up the relationship. What starts as one date per week soon escalates to two, three, or perhaps even more. Well, with my BF and I, it’s the complete opposite. He now goes out with his friends all the time compared to the beginning of our relationship. Stumped? Me too.
  7. He doesn’t spoil me. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t expect to be lavished with gifts and trips away all the time, but my BF sometimes used to buy me little treats at the beginning that made me feel loved and special. Now I’m lucky if I get a “happy anniversary” on our anniversary date. Humph.
  8. He doesn’t jump me like he used to. I know that sex at the start of a relationship can be very different compared to years down the line in terms of frequency and intensity. However, I just wish my BF would try to jump me a bit more often like he used to. Granted, we’ve both got busy schedules and hectic lives that have got even crazier since we started dating, but it’s always nice to feel wanted, right?
  9. He doesn’t prioritize my happiness. My BF would probably argue with me profusely on this one, but it feels like I’m not on the top of his priority list anymore. I know we all have different (and multiple) priorities, but I can just tell that the freshness and the initial excitement of the relationship is wearing off for him. Sometimes I feel like I’m mourning the loss of it every day, but then I remember how much we love each other. He just needs to stop being lazy and assuming that I know that he cares and actually show it to me more often.
Katie Davies is a British freelance writer who has built a career creating lifestyle content that caters to the modern woman. When she's not sipping tea, shopping, or exploring a new city, you'll probably find her blogging about her fashion and travel adventures at