My Boyfriend Is “Ugly” & It’s The Best Relationship Ever

I used to be all about a guy’s looks and personality came second. If he was hot, I didn’t care what he had to say—and it usually ended up being nothing of interest. This time around, I decided to focus on inner beauty and despite the fact that my current boyfriend isn’t conventionally attractive, I’ve never been happier.

1. We have better conversations. I feel like I can have more in-depth discussions with my boyfriend than I did with any of the guys I’ve dated before. I spend way less time fighting with him over girls hitting him up on Instagram and questioning how committed he is to me because he spends all his time at the gym to maintain his look. I never have to obsess over how great we look as a couple. Our conversations are now more about discussing what makes us happy, what we think of different issues in the world, our dreams, the future, kids, and even marriage. It’s way more fulfilling.
2. He makes me laugh. I never realized how much fun I was missing out on until I met my current boyfriend. He makes me see the funny side of things more and helps me not to take everything so seriously. It’s a more relaxing approach to life and I’m happier because of it. He knows how to put a smile on my face and it’s just effortless.
3. There’s no pressure to please. When I’ve dated hot guys in the past, there has been that pressure to look a certain way, not to gain too much weight, to always dress impressively—and that takes a lot of time and effort. Having that feeling that I always have to be “on” so that he can continuously think I’m hot compared to the many girls out there was too much to deal with. Now, I don’t have to care so much about what I wear or if I have perfect makeup in the mornings when he stays over or how my body looks in a bikini. I can be relaxed and focus on having a good time and forget all the other silly stuff I used to worry about.
4. I can be myself. I no longer feel like I have to be the perfect girlfriend. I feel like all he expects from me is to be myself, and that’s a great feeling! No more worrying about saying the right things to boost my guy’s ego or to keep him around. I can have a healthy happy relationship with myself, focus on what makes me content, and that’s made being in a relationship feel 10 times better.
5. He notices the little things. When we have conversations, he’s always bringing up the little things that he remembers me saying, buying my favorite health drink for me when we go on a hike, or even giving me his pizza crusts when we go out to eat because I love the crunch of them. It’s a nice feeling to know that my boyfriend is paying attention to me and not always focused on himself.
6. He makes me want to be a better person. Because of how attentive my boyfriend is, it makes me also want to be more thoughtful and do nice things for him too. Being with him has made me worry less about my insecurities and focus more on the person I’m with and how I can be better to him and others as well.
7. We can have tough conversations. He calls me out on things that I do wrong without making me feel like the worst person, and the honesty is refreshing. In the past, I haven’t been able to have candid conversations with a boyfriend. The delivery was not the best and we always ended up in fights. I think the loving approach my boyfriend takes has taught me how to take criticism and use it to be better.
8. He becomes more attractive to me each day. I know that this may sound cliche, but it’s true. He’s attentive and loving. He’s become one of my biggest cheerleaders, is grateful when I do special things for him and respects my opinion like an equal. It makes me fall in love with him even more every day as I get to learn the different sides of him.
9. We don’t have trust issues. I don’t worry about who he’s texting or the girls in his social group that he hangs out with because he has reassured me that he’s committed to me and I feel like I can trust him. Plus, maybe his looks also play a role because he doesn’t get the usual extra attention from girls, so that really helps.
10. He sees me for who I am. He sees me for who I am beyond the way I look, the makeup and all the frills. I think that’s because I don’t have to pretend or try to be perfect all the time. Being able to relax around him has allowed me to open up to him more than I’ve been able to open up to any other guy. It’s scary because I would have missed out on such a great guy because of how vain I used to be.