Generally speaking, preventing pregnancy is usually left to the woman in the relationship. We’re the ones with uterus so it falls on us, right? Wrong. I recently had an important conversation with my boyfriend in which I asked him to get a vasectomy. It might sound drastic, but here’s why I did it.
We don’t want more kids.
The number one reason is probably the most obvious reason: we know we don’t want more kids. Why wouldn’t we want a more permanent, effective form of birth control? The ability to have sex anywhere, anytime, without any prior planning appeals to both of us. The idea of not having to worry about getting pregnant also sounds pretty great.
Temporary birth control options suck.
I’ll be frank: we hate condoms. They smell weird, they block the sensation, and it’s annoying to have to break one out when you’re getting hot and heavy. “But there are so many other options,” you say. Well, I don’t like any of them. I don’t want to shove a ring, a sponge, a cervical cap, or a diaphragm up my hoo-ha every time we want to get it on. And spermicide? Don’t even get me started on that sticky, burning mess. Like, why is it stinging? Is that even supposed to happen or should I be calling my doctor? Yes, there’s the birth control pill, but I just plain hate taking a pill every day, and plus the hormones make me crazy… Crazier than I already am, that is.
What about long-term birth control options?
There are two forms of the IUD, the hormonal and the copper IUD. Then there’s the implant, which releases hormones into your arm. Since hormones are pretty much a no-go for me, I opted for the copper IUD, which apparently works because sperm and copper don’t mix. However, as you probably know, the most common side effect is heavy periods—and boy, do they mean heavy. God forbid I sneeze if I’m at work; I would have to go home and change! I can’t even wear tampons and I have to sleep in these weird diaper things that hold my pad in place. It is not pretty. I told my boyfriend I pretty much need to get this thing out of me immediately. For the sake of our white sheets, he agreed.
Permanent birth control is the only way.
Someone’s going to have to go under the knife if we want to make this “no more kids” thing something that lasts forever. The only choice is who it will be. Do we draw straws here, or what? I’m not great at rock, paper, scissors.
Tying your tubes is a big deal.
I had the whole discussion about getting my tubes tied with my gynecologist and she said they would actually take my tubes completely out of my body instead of tying them. This surgery is the real deal. It isn’t just an office visit; its a whole thing with an operating room and the gowns and the gloves and the anesthesia. You have to be put completely under to remove a bodily organ. Obviously, it comes with a bit of risk. Plus, I would have to take quite a bit of time off work to recover from this major surgery.
A vasectomy seems like a better option.
My boyfriend saw his urologist and talked about the procedure too. It’s done right in the office and is over within a few minutes. You get to go home the same day, and you only need a couple of days off work. Plus, there’s a possibility you can reverse it if you decide you want to. You can even freeze your sperm for a pretty reasonable fee, just in case you ever decide to have kids. The recovery consists of holding a bag of frozen peas on your balls while you watch basketball… or so I hear.
Why do women always have to carry the burden of birth control?
My entire life, I’ve felt like it’s my responsibility to make sure I don’t get pregnant. For once, I wanted a man to share in that responsibility. If he wants to have sex with me, then he can do what’s necessary to prevent pregnancy. Seems reasonable to me! I like the idea of not having to worry about it at all.
Luckily for me, my boyfriend seemed to agree.
He scheduled his procedure for a couple of weeks from now, so fingers crossed everything goes well! Soon, we’ll be having carefree sex!
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