To My Boyfriend’s Ex-Girlfriend, Who Can’t Seem To Move On

Hey, it’s me — your ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend. You know, the girl whose Instagram page you were scrolling through at three in the morning when you accidentally liked a 47-week-old selfie? Look, it’s FINE. We all do it, but there comes a point when enough is enough. Your relationship with my boyfriend is over and you need to move on.

  1. At first, it was funny. You know those texts you sent him about a month after we started dating? The ones where you overused the winky face and tongue out emojis? I’m not trying to be mean but he did a dramatic reading of those texts and we decided he needed to make it clearer to you that he’d moved on. So, we made it Facebook official, hoping you would stop reaching out.
  2. If you two were meant to be then what am I doing here? Listen, I’ve been in your shoes — I know those feels. It took me an excruciatingly long time to get over the last guy who broke my heart. Eventually, though, after many drunken tweet-and-deletes, I realized that you can’t force a relationship (not a healthy one, at least) if both people aren’t 100% invested in it. You can’t talk your way into someone’s heart, they have to want to want you. And if they don’t? Screw ’em. Don’t force it. It’s never worth it, and you’re only getting in the way of jump-starting your own future happiness.
  3. You BOTH deserve to be happy. I know it sounds corny but hear me out. You deserve someone who texts you “good morning, beautiful” and “goodnight, gorgeous” because you’re the first person they think about when they wake up and the last one they’re thinking of as they fall asleep. Don’t waste your time trying to rekindle a flame that has long since been snuffed and re-lit by a different match. On that note, your ex deserves to be with someone who respects his personal decisions and boundaries — and not to be rude, but you need a little work in that department. His one-word replies aren’t sending the message clear enough?!
  4. People Change and you need to respect that. No one stays the same. If they did, we’d all be wearing jelly sandals and crimped hair. People grow up, they change, they evolve. Sometimes we’re lucky enough to find someone in our early 20s and ride with them for life… but realistically, as millennials, most of us are at the point in our lives where we’re making some big personal decisions and really finding out where we fit into this mad world. More often than not, that means trying on a few relationships before finding one that fits.
  5. Just because he’s with me now doesn’t mean your relationship didn’t mean anything. We all take something away from each relationship we’re in, whether subconsciously or not. I’m sure you’ve both taught each other more than you know, but frankly, it’s time to give the man some peace and go find your 100% person because it ain’t him. We’re happy. I’m not writing this to protect him from you — I’m secure in myself and we’re secure in our relationship — I just want to help a sister out because I want you to believe that you’re worthy of having someone who’s all your own. Someone you don’t have to text after midnight, hoping their girlfriend will be asleep; someone who actually texts you back and makes you feel liked and loved. because you really do deserve all of that!

So please. Let it go.

Vicky is a Toronto native who works as a professional photographer by day and a writer by night. She has a bachelor's degree from the University of Waterloo and will soon begin a master's degree in psychology.