My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years now and we have a solid relationship—we’ve even been talking about marriage. However, ever since he broke up with his last girlfriend, his Facebook profile has said he’s single and it’s really starting to bother me.
- It kind of feels like he doesn’t want people to know we’re dating. Maybe I’m paranoid, but it really seems like he’s trying to hide the fact that we’re a couple. Why else would he not update his profile? It made really uncomfortable to meet his friends over time because I was never sure if they knew about me or not. If he’s not telling people on Facebook, there’s no way to know if he’s telling them at all.
- He could at least just delete the relationship part of his profile. I’m not asking for him to broadcast a “Just began a relationship with…” notification, but he could at least just delete the “single” part of his profile. No one would notice and it would cause zero disruption. The only difference would be that I would feel much more secure and women looking at his profile wouldn’t assume he’s available.
- It makes me jealous. I’d be lying if I said jealousy wasn’t a part of it. Obviously he’s not actively soliciting other girls, but I can’t help but feel that I’m not significant enough for him to change his social media profile. I also can’t help but feel as though I’m in competition with other women who assume he’s single.
- It’s a really dumb thing to get annoyed about. I can’t believe this has to be an issue in our relationship. Honestly, everything else about us is great. We love each other, we respect each other, we have fun together. Those are the important things. And yet, this one tiny, stupid thing keeps cropping up in my mind and it’s starting to make me question the whole relationship.
- I don’t want to make a big deal about it this far into the relationship. Of all the things that could go wrong in a relationship, this is so minor it’s actually laughable. It would be easy for me to just say, “Hey, um, what’s the deal? Can you update your profile already?” But we’ve been dating for three damn years and I don’t really want him to know it’s become such a huge deal in my head when for him, it’s probably completely out of sight, out of mind.
- I’m worried it’s going to follow us throughout our relationship. If we get married, is he just going to keep his status as “single”? What if we have kids? Obviously if we’re married and have kids, it will rule out my fear that he doesn’t want people to know about us, but it would still be extremely irritating.
- It’s not like he never uses Facebook. Some people just don’t use social media. They sign up for things when their friends guilt them into it and then never log on again. But my boyfriend is on Facebook all the damn time. He knows how to use a keyboard. He knows how to navigate a newsfeed. Why can’t he change one word in his profile?
- The more serious we get, the more it bothers me. I wouldn’t expect anyone to change every online profile they have the second they plan a date with me, or even after a month or two of dating. No one needs to know every tiny detail of your romantic life, but the longer and more meaningful our relationship becomes, the more it feels like a wedge growing between us.
- His status wasn’t “single” with his last serious relationship. Now, this may be splitting hairs, but I know for a fact that his status said “in a relationship” with his last girlfriend, because he and I were friends for a few years before we started dating. His last relationship was really serious and he told me when we got together that he wasn’t ready for something like that again. But here we are, three years later and still going strong. Maybe he doesn’t want to jinx it by changing his profile again.
- What else is he overlooking? If he’s managed to forget his Facebook relationship status, surely he must be missing other things. I can’t help but wonder if he’s still on Tinder and just forgot to delete it three years ago when we started dating.
