I tried to make a good impression on my boyfriend’s parents when he introduced me to them, and I thought I did a good job. Apparently not, because I recently found out they don’t like me—and after I found out why, I don’t really care.
They have a problem with my sexuality.
In this day and age, you’d think the world would be more tolerant of the LGBTQ+ community but there are still those who think we’re the children of the devil. I’m not one to hide my sexuality, so when they wanted to confirm whether or not I’ve ever dated a woman, I said yes. They basically told me God didn’t approve and started quoting Bible verses to me. It sucked and really hurt my feelings, but I’m not going to go back in the closet. I’m a proud bisexual woman and I won’t hide that just to appease my boyfriend’s parents.
My religion or lack thereof is a problem for them.
As if my sexuality wasn’t upsetting enough for them, they were furious when they found out I don’t believe in God. They had a lot to say about that: I’m giving into the devil, I’m going to hell, I’m God’s biggest disappointment (yes, really)… To be honest, they could’ve said whatever they wanted and it wouldn’t have mattered. I won’t convert for anyone, and the fact that my religious beliefs are enough to make them dislike me is stupid.
We don’t see eye to eye on many political issues and I love fighting back.
I’m the kind of person who doesn’t back down during a fight, especially if its a debate about social issues and politics. I lay out both facts and empathy, which is what one needs to stand up against so many injustices. In retaliation, they reference stories they read on right-wing websites that have no basis in reality. They refuse to believe that their version of the truth is anything but, but I won’t shut up when it comes to women’s rights, racism, and other social justice issues.
Apparently, my skirts are too short.
It’s the 21st century and there are still people who judge women by their clothes, especially if they show what holier-than-thou people considered to be too much skin. I hated it when my significant other’s parents had a thing or two to say about the length of my skirt. Apparently, I was offering myself up to men and I shouldn’t be surprised if I’m getting harassed by people on the street. My skirt isn’t a sexual invitation anyone who believes that is perpetuating rape culture.
I have sex and they still believe it’s a sin.
If my boyfriend’s parents knew that we’re sexually active together, they’d lose it. I respect people who chose to be celibate until marriage, but that’s personal choice, not something you can force on people. I was trying so hard not to laugh when they talked about how their son was saving himself for marriage. Oh, if only they knew the things we get up to…
They leave me out of family gatherings and even my partner’s birthday.
At first, I was hurt because they were purposely excluding me. They crossed the line when they didn’t even allow me to be with my significant other for his birthday. I wanted to throw a hissy fit but instead took the high road. If they didn’t want me to be a part of their family, I shouldn’t force it. Because I know they don’t like me for who I am, the last thing I want is to pretend to be someone else when I was around them just to gain their approval.
I can be myself without trying too hard.
Most people try hard for their significant other’s parents to love them to the point of acting like someone else just to gain their approval. I decided to go the route of being myself and they didn’t like it. That’s unfortunate and I wish things had gone better at our initial meeting (and beyond), but since it didn’t, I’m not stressing about it. I’m going to continue to be true to myself and if they don’t like it, oh well.
They avoid speaking directly to me.
When we actually are in the same place, my boyfriend’s parents sometimes pretend like I’m not there, as if ignoring me means I don’t exist. I still try to be friendly because that’s the mature thing to do instead of building the animosity between us. They might not like me and aren’t afraid to show it, but I won’t let that come between me and my boyfriend. Our relationship is worth more than that.
Bottom line: I’m dating my significant other and not his parents.
As much as I wanted his parents to like me, I couldn’t force a relationship with them. At the end of the day, the only thing that matters is that my boyfriend loves and accepts me just as I am. Maybe his parents will come around eventually, but even if they don’t, I’m not dating them so it really doesn’t matter.
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