How To Break The Cycle Of Bad Boyfriends Once & For All

How To Break The Cycle Of Bad Boyfriends Once & For All ©iStock/Gremlin

If you have a type and never waver from it, there’s a good chance all your boyfriends are the same. And if none of those relationships worked out because he turned out to be horrible for you, you really have no one to blame but yourself. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is just insanity. There are ways to break the cycle:

  1. Forgive yourself. Being too hard on yourself will kill your self-esteem, and when that happens, the bad guys will flock to you. If you can let go of your past relationship mistakes, you can move forward instead of making them again.
  2. Open your mind. If your criteria for a guy are all written in superficial stone, you may want to throw that rock into the river. Having a set list of physical or stylistic attributes only closes you off for a massive amount of great guys who may be really interested in you.
  3. Understand your pattern. If you get in touch with yourself and really find out why you make these bad choices, you’ll be much better equipped to make the right ones. If you don’t, you’ll never be able to choose wisely.
  4. Catch yourself before you do it again. If you can recognize the type of men you usually go for aren’t all that great, you’ll be able to stop yourself before getting wrapped up in a relationship with another one. Being aware of your mistakes will help you learn from them.
  5. Change what you’re looking for. If you usually go for guys with rock hard abs and a life of the party attitude, maybe it’s time you started looking for something else. This isn’t to say that all guys with those attributes would be horrible boyfriends, but so far they haven’t worked out for you, so it’s better to go all in with a different type.
  6. Give someone new a chance. When the guy you see in the coffee line every morning asks you out but you’re not initially attracted to him, say yes anyway. You may not have that ‘got to have you now’ vibe initially, but if he’s a nice guy, he may just be exactly what you need.
  7. Ask a friend for a blind date. The good thing about blind dates is that you never know who’s going to be sitting on the other side of the table. If your friend sets it up, you know she’s only picking from the top of the pile because she loves you and wants what’s best for you.
  8. Get out of the dating pool. If you keep drowning in bad relationships, maybe it’s time to sit at the sidelines for a while. This will help you get back to taking care of yourself, and along the way you’ll realize more about yourself and what you need so that you can make better relationship choices.
  9. Don’t be scared. If you feel as though you can’t trust your own decisions and you’re afraid of what might come next in your love life, don’t. You can trust yourself and there’s no need to fear love. You just have to love smarter, not more reluctantly.
Angelica Bottaro has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Trent University and an Advanced Diploma in Journalism from Centennial College. She began her career as a freelance writer in 2014, racking up bylines in The Good Men Project, MakeWell, LymeTime, YouQueen, and more. She eventually shifted her focus and began writing about mental health, nutrition, and chronic disease for VeryWell Health.

You can follow her on Facebook or check out her website at She also posts on Instagram @a.ct._b and Twitter @angiiebee.