How Netflix and chill has managed to become a mainstream, acceptable way to date is beyond me, but since hookup culture trend is not likely to die anytime soon, it’s up to you to avoid falling into the hookup buddy trap when you’re looking for something more. Here are 11 ways to do just that:
- Stay true to your desires. If you want more than sex, then you need to stick to that. You’re the only one that controls you, so don’t get wishy-washy and change your mind. You’ll always know it isn’t what you wanted and you’ll be incredibly unhappy. Don’t even go down that road.
- Be honest. It may be awkward or uncomfortable, but telling him right off the bat that you aren’t down to be a plaything will weed out the hookup buddies. Not all men are going to respect what you say, and some will still try to convince you to be their plaything, but others will take you seriously and appreciate your honesty.
- Don’t let him talk you into something you don’t want. For the players who will try to get you in bed and nothing else, you need to be strong in your convictions. Don’t let him sweet talk you into a friends with benefits situation if you don’t want it. He’ll use every trick in the book to get you naked, so you need to see through the games.
- Take a dating hiatus. If you can’t seem to stay away from the hookup buddies, it might be time to take a break and reevaluate. You’re doing something wrong, not being clear enough or letting guys convince you Netflix and chill is an awesome idea. Look at yourself in the mirror, see that your desires are worth it and stick to them before you head back out there.
- Don’t be afraid to say no. If he’s being pushy about Netflix and chill and trying to make you feel badly about not “wanting to have some fun” then tell him no thank you, and delete his number, block him and swear to yourself you are not going to crawl back. Seriously, no means no.
- Look for the signs early. If he avoids going out in public with you, or tries to get you to “come over” all of the time then something is wrong. If he doesn’t communicate well (I mean worse than the normal crappy standard for men’s communication), plays games and only sexts you, you should probably avoid him.
- Don’t be afraid to ghost. If he isn’t getting the point and you don’t feel strong enough to say no to him, then you need to ghost. You don’t owe him anything and it’ll be better for you both. He can find someone who only wants to mess around and you can find someone who’s more serious. #byefelicia
- Keep your options open. There is no shame in dating more than one man at a time, so long as you aren’t “exclusive” with any of them. By seeing more than one guy, you’ll be less likely to deal with crap you aren’t down with.
- Don’t think you can change him, or try. The worst thing you can do is try to change him. Why should you waste your time trying to convince him you’re worth more than sex? If he isn’t what you want, then you need to move on.
- Don’t punish yourself for his bad behavior. It is not your fault that he is a hookup buddy! Do not punish yourself because he is immature. Nothing is wrong with you, he just sucks.
- Stop letting it happen. Seriously, you know when a guy is only trying to Netflix and chill, so don’t let it happen anymore. You deserve more.
