Breaking Up Sucks, But Putting Up With These 10 Things in Your Relationship Is Worse

Have you ever been in a relationship where you like the guy but something just feels off? Sometimes, we feel like an average relationship is better than no relationship, but that’s not necessarily true. If any of these things have been bothering you about your current relationship, you may want to end it now. Otherwise, you might someday worry about whether or not you’ve sabotaged your own happiness.

  1. Never agreeing on what to do Time is precious, so if you feel like you’re spending half of your weekend trying to debate what to do and where to go, maybe you’re just incompatible as a couple. Unless it’s banter that you both get a kick out of, both of you are pretty much admitting you have nothing in common if this happens week after week.
  2. His inability to commit It’s OK if he doesn’t want to get married, but it’s not cool to string you along. If you always wanted to tie the knot and are hoping this guy will someday change his mind, just know that’s not fair for either of you. Don’t let him talk down the things you want just because he’s uncomfortable with them. Leave him and find someone whose interests align.
  3. Never having anything to talk about Communication is a vital part of a healthy relationship, so if you ask him how work was and he just responds with “fine” followed by a lot of empty silence, you may not feel very connected to this guy. Unless the both of you actively work on it (and you communicate to him about opening up more), this isn’t going to get any better and you’re bound to feel pretty lonely within your relationship.
  4. Trying to defend him to your family How many times have you said something like, “He comes off that way, but he’s actually really nice!” If your family has told you this guy is a dud, it means they’re actively hoping you move on and meet someone better. You weren’t hired to be your boyfriend’s PR agent. Maybe take a hint and realize your family will be more than supportive of your decision.
  5. Feeling like you’re not good enough If you’ve been hesitant to leave the relationship in the past because he’s said things like “nobody else could deal with you” or that you’re “never going to find happiness,” he’s trying to scare you into staying. He’s wrong, for the record. Anyone who utters any of these sentences to you doesn’t care about you or your well being, and he’s just clinging to the small chance that you’ll believe him.
  6. The “fake” breakups Thinking about breaking up with your boyfriend? Then maybe you’ve tried before. That, or you’ve both threatened it for some reason but never went through with it. You should never try to threaten someone to stay or leave. That just comes off as being manipulative. Just bite the bullet and get rid of him for good, cutting all that drama out.
  7. Continuously wondering whether or not he’s “The One” You probably have plenty of “ones” out there. The idea that you were meant to be with one person is a little bogus, but there’s nothing better than finding one person you feel comfortable with and want to share a life with. If you keep questioning your happiness with your boyfriend, you’re not happy. Stop doubting and put yourself out there again to find someone who’s a better match.
  8. Wondering if he’s holding you back from your true potential at work If he’s gotten jealous over your promotions at work or has even talked you out of applying for another job, he’s not letting you grow. It’s really hard to go the extra mile and apply yourself if your boyfriend doesn’t believe in you. A great boyfriend will be proud of your achievements, and not use them to gain pity for himself.
  9. Constant resentment If you keep finding yourself wondering what would have happened if you got back together with an ex back in college, you’re fantasizing about a situation that’s no longer viable. That’s probably because you’re not happy with the choices you’ve made. The more frustration you feel about your boyfriend and your relationship, the more you’ll end up resenting him. Suddenly, everything he does will be annoying to you. Do yourself a favor and either talk to him about this and try to make big changes or just cut him loose and take a break from dating for a while.
  10. Breaking up after you own property or have kids together Plenty of people make it through these tricky situations successfully, but if you keep hoping things will get better—and take serious milestone steps with this guy before they do—you’re going to make the situation a lot more complicated. Trust your gut. Before you buy that townhouse together, ask yourself if you’re happy and satisfied with the relationship.
Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Speech Communication with a focus in Broadcasting and Print Media Studies from Millersville University of Pennsylvania. Since graduating, she has written for sites like LittleThings, HelloGiggles, and Scary Mommy and is currently an e-commerce editor at Bustle.

When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz or on Instagram @karenbelz.