Your Breakup May Have Been Bad, But Here’s How You’re Making It Worse

Ending your relationship is probably one of the most painful things you’ll have to deal with in your life, but it’s definitely possible to get over it. Sure, we’re all guilty of wallowing when we’ve had our hearts broken, but if you’re doing any of these things, you’re making your bad breakup way worse:

  1. Drinking yourself to death. Drinking a few glasses (or, you know, a whole bottle or two) of wine to numb the pain is completely understandable. Your heart is broken and you need to forget the pain even temporarily however you can. That being said, spending weeks or months on end in Hangover City is not going to bring your ex back, so put down the bottle and get your act together.
  2. Stalking his Facebook wall. Overanalyzing his every status message or thumbs up on Facebook will drive you to the brink of insanity. If you think you don’t have much willpower to prevent yourself from cyber stalking, stay away from social media until you have more self-control. Deactivate your account or block him, whichever your broken heart fancies.
  3. Listening to songs that remind you of him. Playing  Ed Sheeran’s “Thinking Out Loud” on loop while reflecting on the good old days you’ve had together and sobbing your eyes out won’t do you any good. You’ll heal faster if you stick to listening to something that’s not tied to him in any way and can’t drudge up any old memories.
  4. Visiting your old stomping grounds. Paying a visit to your favorite spots as a couple will only emphasize his absence from your life. It’s not the kind of nostalgia that can do any good, so don’t even bother. Whether it’s just figuring out where to have Sunday brunch or where to book your next vacation, go for somewhere new rather than someplace that’s going to remind you of old love.
  5. Letting yourself go. Getting up to continue living your life as normal is tough now that the love of your life is gone. Working out and eating well is even harder. Despite this, you’ve got to muster the courage to get out of your bed and honor your sacred sweat sessions and cook yourself some nutritious meals (or at least buy some). Not only will you stay fit and healthy, but your breakup is the best motivator to achieve that revenge body so he’ll realize what a fool he was for letting go of you.
  6. Reading old messages from better times. Going back to your previous email, text messages, and convos on social media and analyzing where you went wrong is downright brutal. Do yourself a favor and delete them all so wallowing is no longer an option.
  7. Torturing yourself with rom-com marathons. Intentionally watching romantic films that you know have fairy tale endings will only make you feel way worse. Do yourself a favor and say goodbye to Netflix, at least temporarily. Go outside to chill with real people like your friends and family. They’ll remind you of something you’ve forgotten: that you’re loved and will always be loved by them no matter what.
Maine Belonio is a twenty-something mom and writer who has a penchant for coffee, long distance running, Tolkien, Switchfoot, and Jesus. Find her broken, honest, and brave musings at