I Broke Up With Him But His Mom Wouldn’t Let Me Go — WTF?

Moms tend to love me. I don’t drink or smoke, I’m sweet and I give off down-to-earth vibes. But one of my ex’s moms was a little too clingy. Breaking up with him felt like I had to break up with her too — she just wouldn’t let me go.

  1. She was hoping I’d save her son. The reason I dumped my ex was because he’d started drinking a bit too much and he’d cheated on me. His mom had liked me because I was sober — she’d made that clear. It was like she wanted me to stick around and hopefully get her son onto the same path. She’d even tell me how I was supposed to be supporting him when we were dating — damn, it was like she’d been directing our whole relationship. When the relationship ended, this clearly didn’t fit in with her plans.
  2. She was really upset about the breakup, which was weird AF. I texted her to tell her I was no longer with her son and she reacted in a weird way, telling me how upset she was about it and asking if we could still be friends. This was extra weird because there was no way I was going to be friends with her son. But I agreed, hoping it was just what people said in these awkward situations, but she meant it. Oh, she meant it.
  3. She wanted to hang out. It’s cool to get along with your BF’s mom, but it gets too close for comfort when she’s treating you like her new best friend after your breakup. My ex’s mom would text and Instagram me often, asking to hang out. This actually escalated in time. It wasn’t just a normal text every once in a while to see how I was, it was regular messages wanting to chat and telling me how she missed me.
  4. She wanted to reel me back into her son’s life. Sometimes I got the impression that she wanted me to change my mind about her son and take him back. This could be seen in how she’d send me messages telling me how well he was doing and how great he looked. It felt creepy, like she was his damn agent or something. She’d slip these little touches into normal conversation as though she was hoping they’d push me to get back in touch with him. Hell no.
  5. She went through breakup denial. A few weeks after the breakup, my ex’s mom did a strange thing: she texted to invite me over to her birthday party and then asked if I’d be attending with her wonderful son. Ugh. Did she not get the memo that we’d broken up and I’d dumped him because he really wasn’t all that wonderful? FFS, woman!
  6. She was holding me back emotionally. Staying in contact with her after her son and I broke up felt like she was holding me back, especially because she wanted to chat all the time. I’d see her texts and it would remind me of my relationship with her son, all the hurtful memories. I believe in making a clean break after a relationship, not just with the guy but also with his friends and family. It sounds harsh, but it’s really the only way to move on, especially when you’re dealing with a stage-five clinger.
  7. She backed off when I got a new BF. If my ex’s mom really wanted to be friends, she wouldn’t have stopped getting in touch when I got a new boyfriend, but that’s exactly what happened. I knew she knew about my relationship status from Facebook, and it was interesting to see this evidence that she’d only been friends to get me back for her son. Sick as hell, but I must say it was a relief when she eventually ceased contact. Breakups are hard enough without family members getting in the way.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.