It would be ridiculous to suggest that relationships are a perfectly equal 50/50 at all times. Life happens, things come up, and sometimes the balance shifts one way or another for a time. However, that should be temporary and circumstantial, not the norm. It’s important to notice the signs you’re in a one-sided relationship so you can stop wasting your time and energy on someone who’s not interested in pulling their weight. Here are a few to be on the lookout for.
- You’re always the one to apologize. Nobody’s perfect, you and I know that. However, it wouldn’t seem that’s the case because whenever anything goes wrong in your relationship, it’s always you that has to take the blame even if it definitely wasn’t you at fault. You do it to keep the peace or because “it’s not worth it” and you just want to be okay again, but that’s the worst thing you could do. Your partner is a grown adult who should be able to take responsibility for their actions. If they won’t and the blame defaults to you, this is one of the biggest signs you’re in a one-sided relationship.
- Your partner never sacrifices or compromises – it’s always you. As much as you and your partner might have in common, you’re likely very different in many ways as well. You have your own goals, priorities, and desires, and that means sometimes you have to compromise when those don’t gel with theirs. That’s cool… unless you’re the only one doing it. If your partner is very “my way or the highway” and totally ignores what you want/need, that’s a serious problem.
- You feel like the deep connection between you is nonexistent. You can’t be deeply bonded/connected with someone who offers you f-all in the emotional availability department. You’re constantly trying to reach out and close the chasm that seems to have opened between you but they’re not only uninterested in meeting you halfway, they won’t even move a step forward. They have no interest in opening up and letting you in regardless of how vulnerable you’ve allowed yourself to be, which is another of those major signs that you’re in a one-sided relationship.
- You always feel insecure but are never sure why. You can’t put your finger on why your relationship is clouded with insecurity all the time. You worry that they’re going to leave you, that they’ll find someone they like more than you, that they’re mad at you, that you’ve said the wrong thing… the list goes on and on. This has very little to do with anything you’ve actually done or what’s actually going on and is all about the fact that your partner is leaving you in the lurch all the time. You deserve so much better!
- You lie about the relationship to your friends. Relationship issues are between you and your partner, for the most part, but if you’re always making excuses for them or trying to convince your friends that you’re in the relationship of your dreams when you know right well it’s closer to a nightmare, you know you’re in a one-sided relationship. Not only are you doing yourself a disservice by failing to admit that to yourself or to them, but they probably spotted the signs ages ago. Oops!
- You handle pretty much everything. Whether it’s paying the bills, doing the cooking, or buying the Christmas presents for his family and yours, the responsibility falls on your shoulders. You handle absolutely everything because they’re too lazy and uninterested to do it. Not only that, but they’re pretty used to you taking control, so where’s the impetus for them to get their act together and pitch in?
- Your partner regularly describes you as “too much.” Oh God, this is the worst. Even typing it makes me roll my eyes. The only reason you’d ever be “too much” for someone is that they’re not enough. This is another way of them saying that they’re not on your level and are too lazy to make the effort to get there. They’re welcome to go and find less, if they’d like! (No really, let them go!)
- It’s like pulling teeth to get them to make time for you. You have a busy life – a great job, an amazing group of friends, awesome hobbies, etc. – but you still make time for your partner because you know that quality time is important to keeping your relationship alive and thriving. Unfortunately, it seems they didn’t get the memo as you’re literally at the bottom of the totem pole when it comes to priorities for them. Do yourself a favor and get rid of this bozo.