Brutally Honest Confessions Of A Strong, Independent Woman

Brutally Honest Confessions Of A Strong, Independent Woman ©iStock/iascic

Being strong and independent women is the only way we know how to be and we’re not sorry for it, but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy. While our passion, ambition and zero tolerance for BS serves us well in life as a whole, there are some things we wish the guys we date would understand without us having to spell it out:

  1. We don’t need you, but we do want the company of the right guy at the end of a long day. We don’t need a guy to be happy, but that doesn’t mean we want to be alone or that we wouldn’t welcome an amazing guy into our lives. We won’t be with someone just for the sake of it, but if we want you around, it’s because we think you’re worth it. We might be totally self-sufficient, but we’d still love to come home to someone who’s supportive and loving at the end of the day.
  2. We’re out being bosses all day every day; you can take the lead in the sheets. It’s tough for any independent woman to admit, but many of us like a guy to be strong and dominant in bed. After spending all day hustling professionally, we’re exhausted and want someone to just make us feel good, no stress on our end. Go ahead and take the lead; we’ll let you know if you do something we don’t enjoy, and we’ll definitely let you know when you’re doing something incredible.
  3. We like cuddling and being held all night. We’re mature enough to know that wanting to be held by someone we love doesn’t make us week or needy — it means we’re human beings that love giving and receiving affection. Bonus points for the little neck kiss during those sleepy early morning hours before the day starts (especially if it leads to some pre-work booty to get the day started right).
  4. We actually like cooking and making our place look bomb. While the idea of women as Suzy Homemakers and nothing more went out with the 1960s, we do enjoy cooking and making our homes look awesome. It’s called providing for ourselves and taking pride in our homes — doesn’t everyone do that?
  5. We like it when you act like a gentleman. We know that opening a door for us doesn’t mean you think we’re incapable of opening doors, and no, we’re not going to get offended if you do it. We realize that it’s a sign of respect, and we appreciate it. Especially in a world where it’s becoming so much more acceptable to disrespect women, we like meeting one of the good guys who still pulls out a few chivalrous stops.
  6. We’re not selfish; if we like you, we’ll strive to make you happy. Strong, independent women get a bad rap for being selfish sometimes, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, we put in a lot of effort to please the ones we love. If you show us that you’re worth the effort, you’ll see how rewarding it is to be on our priority list.
  7. We don’t refuse to respect you; we just see respect as a two-way street. So many guys seem to think that we should automatically respect them simply because of their gender, and that’s BS. We know that respect is absolutely necessary in a relationship, but respect is given when it’s received. We want a partner who sees us as an equal, not as someone he can boss around. That’s not a relationship (at least not one we’d want to be part of).
  8. Ours is the best kind of love. To win the love of a strong woman is to win something truly special, because we’re choosing to keep you around for the best possible reason: because we want you there. Only the purest love survives based upon desire alone without necessity. You deserve to be loved just for being you, and the best way to find that kind of love is to pursue the strong woman who doesn’t need you, but who will welcome you into her life with open arms.
Anna Martin Yonk is a freelance writer and blogger in sunny North Carolina. She loves hanging out with her goofy husband and two rescue dogs and can be found at the beach with a drink in hand whenever possible.