Brutally Honest Confessions From A Self-Aware Control Freak

Brutally Honest Confessions From A Self-Aware Control Freak ©iStock/alexey_ds

It’s not easy being a control freak, but being aware of your own neurosis is half the battle. Whether this applies to you or someone you know, get to know the inner struggle of the control freaks among us with these 12 brutally honest confessions from someone who’s living it.

  1. I can’t let things go. Not only can I not let things go myself, but this is actually one of the worst things you can say to a control freak. I envy people who can just leave things unresolved, but it’s not something I can just decide to do one morning. I need to first express my feelings and then find a resolution. If not, the issue will forever be in the back of my mind.
  2. I’d like someone else to take control every once in a while. There are people that always let you take the reins, and that can feel good, but sometimes it feels good to have someone push back. In the end, it’s good for you to not always get your way.
  3. I need a plan. No matter what I’m doing, I like to have a plan. I’ll plan out every dinner meal I have during the week so I don’t overeat during the day. If I’m going out drinking, I need to know how I’m getting home before I leave. Where are we meeting? What time? All essentials needed before commitment can be made.
  4. I don’t always want to be the planner. Just because I need a plan doesn’t mean I necessarily want to be the planner. People can be so last minute with their plans and it’s incredibly frustrating if you’re the planner. The job may sound like being in charge, but in reality it’s a time you feel the least amount of control.
  5. I can’t go with any flow. People love to tell control freaks to just “go with the flow.” That may be how you live your chill lifestyle, but for someone who fears irregularity, it’s not that easy. There’s an adjustment period that comes with any change, big or small, and there’s no way to speed it up.
  6. I don’t always love being right. Don’t get me wrong — most of the time it feels damn good, but sometimes I don’t mind being wrong. It feels good to be proven right, but I’m usually always right when I’ve been negative about a situation, like the ultimate “I told you so.” Positivity can be happier, but sometimes negativity is what makes you right.
  7. I believe in change. In order to control a situation, I have to believe that people can change. Realistically, views will always differ, but that doesn’t mean I won’t try to change your mind by stating my opinion. You’re entitled to yours; just know I’ll share mine, too.
  8. Honesty is my policy. Whoever said that truth is overrated was dead wrong in my book. Lying makes me feel out of control. You’ll always get my honest opinion if you ask for it, and sometimes if you don’t. I won’t tell you what you want to hear, but instead what you need to hear.
  9. I’m not a perfectionist. Some people who struggle to let go of the control are perfectionists, but not all of us. I don’t need to be perfect in everything I do; it just needs to be done how I choose. I define my own perfection by knowing exactly how something needs to be in my own eyes.
  10. I have a hard time accepting change. It takes me a long time to get used to things, but when I do, it’s even harder to watch those things change. Transitioning into something new doesn’t happen overnight. Whether it’s something small like moving the contents of the kitchen cupboards or a big change like a new computer system, it’s going to be an adjustment.
  11. I prefer to work alone. Remember school projects where your teacher picked the groups? That was my nightmare — not because I was anti-social, but because my progress depended on other people. I wanted the responsibility of my own grade, and that’s still true today. The responsibility is easy to handle; it’s counting on someone else that’s the difficulty.
  12. Relaxation is never easy. “Just relax,” they say. “It’s easy,” they say. Well, maybe it is for you, but my inner control freak begs to differ. Anxiety keeps me awake and worry can make me seem dramatic. Relaxation is never an instantaneous solution, and most of the time it needs an extra push — and no, I don’t mean from someone telling you to chill out.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.