Brutally Honest Reasons Men Don’t Call When They Say They Will

It’s a question that has been plaguing women since the invention of the telephone: why do men say they’ll call and then don’t? Unfortunately, since every man is different, there’s not one straight answer. But there are a few universal reasons are typically true for many men. Read on to find out the possible reasons why you haven’t heard from him.

  1. He’s just not into you. It’s hard to hear and, at this point, maybe a bit cliched. But the brutal truth is that many guys don’t call when they say they will because they’re simply not into you. It could be that they’ve had time to think about it, and they don’t like you as much as they thought they did. Or they don’t like you enough to pursue anything further. Sometimes, a guy might be into you, but just not enough to call you. You haven’t done anything wrong and there are no obvious deal-breakers, but the chemistry is not there. While this can sting, you don’t want a guy who doesn’t want you. Good riddance!
  2. You’re not a priority. Sometimes guys don’t call because they have too much going on in their life. Maybe work is overwhelming or they are dealing with family drama. It might even be that dating just isn’t on the table for them right now. But ultimately, if a guy really likes you, he’ll make you a priority, whether the time is right or not. So again, this comes down to him just not being into you enough.
  3. He thinks you don’t like him. Like women, men don’t like being rejected. If they sense a rejection looming, they might make things simple and withdraw themselves. So if he feels like you don’t like him for whatever reason, he might not be bothered with calling you, even after he said he would.
  4. He has found someone else. This one hurts, but it does happen. It’s common in the early days with people who have just started dating. He might still be active on dating apps. A match might suddenly start going really well for him, leading him to shift his focus from you to that person. He might put things on hold with you to see what happens with the other match that he’s more interested in.
  5. He likes to play games. Sadly, sometimes people don’t call because they like having that power over you. It gives some people a kick to know that you’re sitting there waiting for them to call. This is likely to be the case if his not calling is a pattern. When he constantly promises to call and doesn’t, then makes different excuses, he could just be playing games.
  6. He only said he’d call to be nice. According to Elite Daily, a common reason why guys don’t call when they say they will is that they only said it to be nice. Let’s face it: it’s a lot easier to say you’ll call rather than admitting to someone’s face that you aren’t feeling them. Still, that’s no excuse to lead someone on. It’s not okay, but it does happen.
  7. He only said he’d call to get something out of you. If promising to call allowed the guy to get something out of you, it’s possible that was his intention all along. Whether he was just trying to get you into bed or had any other agenda, a lot of people have been lured in by this lie.
  8. Something has happened to turn him off. It’s possible that he had every intention of calling you when he saw you, but something has happened since then to turn him off. According to the responses on Glamour’s 19 Reasons He Didn’t Call article, many men change their minds after their date does something like talking to their friends or texting too frequently.
  9. He can’t be bothered. If he’s not calling when he said he would, it’s also possible that he just can’t be bothered. Laziness won’t get in the way of a guy calling someone he genuinely likes a lot. So again, this is code for he’s not into you enough. You deserve someone who follows through with his promises and cares about you enough to contact you.
Vanessa Locampo is an Aussie writer who’s equally obsessed with YA fiction and pasta. Her time is divided between writing all the things, reading all the things, listening to Queen, and bopping her cat on the nose. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing and has written for sites including and Discovering Montana, and currently works as an editor at Glam. You can keep up with her on Instagram @vanessaellewrites.