I’ve heard people say more than once that sharing a small bed with your partner better preserves intimacy because you’re forced to physically be near each other even when times are tough. On the contrary, my husband and I bought a king size bed when we moved in together and I’m pretty sure it saved our relationship. Here’s why.
He’s really tall.
I mean really tall — 6’4″ to be exact. That’s a lot of human. The dude has to sleep diagonally on most beds if he doesn’t want his feet to dangle. If he’s diagonal, that means I sleep curled up in a corner. Wait, I meant to say, if he’s diagonal, it means I lay awake curled up in a corner because I’m uncomfortable.
If you want to be intimate, you have to make a move.
It’s basically a bed asking for foreplay. If either of you want the lovin’, you have to roll on over and assert yourself. That’s sexy. If you have your own space, it means sex isn’t convenient, it’s desired.
No one can hog the blankets.
More bed equals more blanket. It’s just science. The bigger the blanket, the easier it is to share.
We both have a pillow problem we aren’t willing to kick.
We each came into this relationship with a lot of pillows. We take Pillow Talk to the extreme. He uses a different pillow every night. He has a long pillow, an older soft pillow, a poofy MyPillow, and even a buckwheat pillow. Yes, a pillow filled with buckwheat. I don’t get it either. That’s not a pillow. Anyways, I have four of my own feather pillows that I arrange into a little nest every night. To top it off, we both have a couple extra pillows, just because you can never have enough. There just simply is not enough room on a small bed for all the pillow action. I’ve typed “pillow” so many times now, it doesn’t even sound like a real word anymore.
I no longer get elbowed in the face while I’m sleeping.
A long body means long limbs. Back in the “double bed days”, I was constantly getting whacked in the head. He’s like one of those giant, inflatable, flailing wind men you see outside car dealerships. It was just a matter of time before I ended up with a black eye, and I didn’t want to have to explain to my friends and family that my now-husband accidentally and unconsciously hit me in the face.
He likes to roll.
I will never forget one night, pre-king size when my ogre of a man friend rolled over and trapped me against the wall. In addition to his height, he’s bulky, and weighs like 250 pounds. To free myself, I had to plant all fours against the wall and push with all my might to get him to roll back over. I’m a small human, and definitely have a disadvantage in the fight for space in the bed.
I like to roll too.
I can not fall asleep in my initial bedtime position. I have to find the perfect spot for my head, the perfect angle, the perfect hug pillow. It’s different every night, and it usually takes me some room to get there.
He’s a pillow snatcher.
The dude will just effing sleep-steal my pillow straight from under my head. So if I can get just out of reach…
Let’s be real, cuddling is only comfortable for a few minutes.
As much as I love a good snuggle sesh, I get hot, my neck starts to hurt, and at least one of my arms usually goes numb… because where are you supposed to put the one you’re laying on? Not to mention, someone else snoring and exhaling stale sleep breath in your face just isn’t relaxing.
I’m not a cute sleeper.
I’d like to think I’m a dainty lady when I sleep, but I know I’m not. My face falls back into my neck, my mouth hangs open, and sometimes I drool. Sometimes if I wear the wrong tank top, my boobs even fall out. Not super classy. I prefer to spare my husband the daily dose of waking up to the immediate site of four chins every morning, itty bitty titties hanging out, resting in a puddle of drool.
I sleep better alone.
Who knows why. But if he’s awake, I’m awake, wondering what’s on his mind (but I don’t want to interrupt with words, because he’s trying to fall asleep). If he falls asleep in an instant, he snores, and I’m annoyed I can’t fall asleep that quickly.
When you fight, no one has to sleep on the couch.
There’s plenty of room to ignore each other. It’s actually like having separate beds. When you share everything with another person, sometimes you do go to bed angry. I don’t care what the marriage gurus say, that’s just life. Just build a barrier with those extra pillows, and you can both wallow in self-pity until you fall asleep, forgetting all about it the next day. A good night’s sleep really helps a mindset, and you can best do that in your own bed. Not to mention, waking up to your spouse accidentally sleep cuddling, after unconsciously breaking down your pillow wall, because he’s a pillow snatcher, is actually a little sweet.
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