Call Me Jaded, But I’m Losing Faith In Real Love

I want to believe that real love exists, I really do. I’ve always been the most hopeless romantic, but at this point, I’m pretty sure I’m going to end up alone for the rest of my life. Even those couples I thought were really going to make it have fallen apart, along with my faith in love. Ugh.

  1. I’m so single it isn’t funny. I’m okay with it right now, but I know I won’t be if I keep on this way for too long. A girl has needs, after all. I know I’m a pretty cool chick, so where’s the right guy for me hiding? It’s not that I don’t know how to be alone, it’s that I don’t want to be forever. Too bad there are zero prospects in sight and haven’t been for a long time.
  2. Even when I like someone, it’s never the right match. I gotta keep my love vibes in check because I keep picking all the wrong dudes. I’m trying to get to the root of things and figure out why I choose who I do so that I can change it stat. I know what I want in love, but somehow I always end up getting so much less. What am I doing wrong?
  3. The guys I like most can’t be mine. Either they’re already taken, they live far away, or they have drastically different life goals than I do. I have a sneaking suspicion I like these guys most because it’s safe. I get to know them well because there are no stakes involved, and then I end up attracted to them. Great.
  4. I’m hardly attracted to anyone anymore. There’s also the problem of my vagina basically being dusty and full of cobwebs at this point. I haven’t had sex in a while… and I don’t really care. It all seems like such a hassle, and most guys gross me out anyway. I wish I didn’t feel this way, but I do.
  5. Men don’t usually pay attention to me. Okay, that’s not entirely true. The men who do notice me I wouldn’t sleep with in a million years, let alone date them. Story of my life. The guys I think are awesome don’t give me a second look. I’m having a hard time thinking any man is awesome anymore.
  6. I don’t know where to meet anyone. My main activities outside of work and spending time with my friends are hiking solo, yoga, writing, and ceramics — not exactly prime places to socialize with dudes. Even if real love is an option for me, I’m scared I’ll never find it because I’m not meeting any men.
  7. I know I’m a great catch… I’m not trying to brag. I just know that I’m a good, caring, kind person with a brain and a lot to offer the right man. It took me years to build up the confidence to say that, so I’m going to own it! I will say that getting basically zero attention from men is not helping the self-esteem, though.
  8. … but I feel absolutely invisible. I don’t know what kind of vibes I’m giving off, but apparently they aren’t the dating kind. I don’t get it. I’m fairly friendly and approachable, and I definitely don’t look intimidating. I’m barely five feet tall. I do have a strong personality, but I don’t consider that a defect. The right guy will love that about me… if he exists.
  9. Guys lose interest so fast, it’s scary. In a world where I’m mostly meeting men online, it’s difficult to hold anyone’s attention. Most of the time, they act like they’re all about it, want to hang out immediately, and then disappear before we even make it to the first date. That’s if they even reply to me at all. There’s always something better around the corner. How will they know how awesome I am if they never attempt to meet me in person?
  10. I don’t like anyone who actually likes me. For some reason, I attract men who are not my type at all. Maybe it’s because I’m nice to everyone, I don’t know. Maybe I should start being a bitch instead. The guys who I do think are potentially good matches? They don’t give me a second look.
  11. I haven’t had chemistry with anyone in ages. I’m friends with a lot of guys. We’re friends because I don’t see them any other way. I would kill for some natural-born chemistry right about now. I’m dying. How can I keep the faith that real love is out there when I never meet anyone I even sort of like?
  12. I’m scared I’ll never meet a good match. I do see people who have met partners who are wonderful for them. I use those examples to keep up the belief that I, too, can find that. On the other hand, I know a lot of people who are single because they just never found the right person. It’s much preferable to marrying the wrong one, for sure, but I’ll be pretty bummed if I never find my guy.
  13. I don’t believe a man will truly love me. I’m not your traditional girl. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I just need a very specific kind of man, and I don’t know if I’ll find him. I’m a hippie gypsy soul who wants to travel and wander and see and explore, without the traditional constraints of family and house and complicated finances. I’ve only been with men who want to form me to their own mold, not truly love me for who I am.
  14. I feel like relationships never last. My happily taken friends will hate this one, but it’s true. I’ve seen so many long-term romances fall apart at the seams anyway. People change and love is a lot of work. It seems like no one wants to put in the energy and effort anymore. We’ve gotten lazy about love. There’s always someone else around the corner. How does real love succeed in that kind of environment? It needs care and nurturing and constant attention.
  15. I’m discouraged because I feel like no man will ever look at me and truly see me. You know what I mean, right? You can tell when someone really sees who you are as a person and loves you for it. I’ve felt that way with family and friends, but most men I’ve loved have been enamored with the idea of me. They found the enigma fascinating. I don’t want that. I am complex and complicated and multifaceted, yes, but does that mean that no man will ever give me real, piercing big love?
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at