Can A Guy Really Like You If He Still Has Feelings For His Ex?

He says he’s into you, but you suspect he’s still not over his ex. Is he full of BS or is the situation a bit more complicated than that? The last thing you want to do is waste time and energy on someone who’s not 100% committed to you and building your relationship. Before you go any further with this guy, here’s what you need to know.

He might have a ton of feelings.

While his feelings for his ex shouldn’t get in the way of his future with you, he might still have a soft spot for her. That being said, maybe after meeting you, he realized that he can feel the spark for someone else. Life and matters of the heart can be pretty complicated at times, but this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, nor does it mean that he can’t date someone else and move on with his life.

Of course, it’s risky.

He shouldn’t be nurturing feelings for his ex. His ex files should be bolted shut, not halfway open so that whatever’s in there can trickle out and poison your relationship. It’s one thing to still have some unresolved feelings, but quite another for him to be holding a candle for her.

He might like you but not “really like” you.

It’s not worth changing your life for this guy if he says he likes you but he’s got unfinished business with his ex. “Like” doesn’t mean “really like,” after all. It could just mean that whatever he feels is nothing more than some attraction – it doesn’t mean he’s ready to take the plunge for you. That’s something to bear in mind. Tread carefully.

You have some work to do.

While you should be sure where he’s at before you start dating him and get your heart broken, it’s important to notice his behavior and the things he says. Pay attention! If his ex is always coming up in conversation or you can see he’s struggling with not getting closure from her, those are red flags that he’s not in the right state of mind to get with someone new.

Don’t be a distraction.

If he’s stuck in the past, you’re going to be nothing more than a distraction for him. He might be so attracted to you because he sees you as a way out of his torture. You’re so much better than that and have much more to give someone, so let this guy go in favor of someone who actually deserves you.

Give him some time.

It might be hard, but if you can see that the guy’s always talking about his ex or he just doesn’t seem like he’s ready to be in an exclusive, committed relationship, you will have to give him a bit of time. This will also benefit you so that you don’t get too caught up in him too fast. Just make sure that you don’t waste your time waiting around for him. Give yourself a deadline so you don’t waste all your love on the wrong person.

It might all be in your head.

Remember that just because you’ve heard a bit about his ex and how much he loved her, it doesn’t mean the guy’s still holding a torch for her. You might feel a bit concerned or jealous, but keep a check on your emotions and focus on the facts that he’s showing you. It’s sometimes too easy to think that something’s up with him and he’s not ready to commit to someone new when that might not be the case.

It’s good to find out if they’re friends.

Things become prickly when you consider if the ex is still in his life or not. If they’re friends and you can see he’s still trying to eliminate feelings for her, that makes the situation a lot tenser than if they parted ways. FYI, it’s also good to find out if he was the one who broke up with her as that changes things and could very well make you feel better about moving forward with this guy.

Keep a cool head.

It’s never a good idea to jump into a relationship with someone who’s just out of a relationship or has issues with their ex. You don’t want to be the rebound girl, so take your time and see if the guy’s willing to take things slow and build something real with you.

Check in with him regularly.

If you know he had strong feelings for his ex (and you worry he still does), it’s essential to talk about it regularly with him. If he’s the type of guy to shut down and let you worry, that’s not a good start to a possible relationship. He’s got to be open and willing to talk so that you both can work through things. It also shows that he’s making you a priority.

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