Can Becoming His Girlfriend Ruin The Chemistry? 8 Reasons To Keep Things Casual

Can Becoming His Girlfriend Ruin The Chemistry? 8 Reasons To Keep Things Casual ©iStock/Grandriver

When you have serious chemistry with a guy that makes you feel crazy inside, the anticipation of actually being with him is delicious. It could be so captivating that you worry that once you make him your boyfriend, the chemistry will fizzle and die — and you could be right. Here’s why it might be better to keep it casual:

  1. You can figure out what you actually want from him. You need to take time out to figure out what you want from him and a relationship in general — preferably when you’re alone and away from the guy’s magnetic pull. If you’re only looking for more of the physical connection you’ve been having with him, a relationship won’t only risk dousing the flames, but it might feel unnecessary. The point is to figure out what feels right so you can choose the best setup.
  2. You hold onto the mystery. When you’re hanging out and having sex without being exclusive, there’s an element of mystery that’s quite appealing. You might like not knowing where you stand with the guy because you’re kept on your toes and intrigued, but the catch is you can’t start feeling for him because that will flip the mystery into a nightmare if he’s not keen on a real relationship. Instead of being cool with uncertainty, it’s going to make you miserable.
  3. You can prevent your heart from acting up. Not jumping into a committed relationship in favor of having great times can protect you from getting your heart slashed. This also means you’ll be able to enjoy things more as they happen. If you love that things are hot without having to become serious, then giving a relationship a miss is a good idea.
  4. You should keep your options open. An open relationship can be a way to keep your chemistry alive because it prevents things from becoming boring. You both get to explore elsewhere and then return to each other with lots of lust and anticipation. It’s also empowering to know that you’re not tied down but free to do what you like.
  5. You lose the labels. We live in a world of labels, but just being in the moment and going with the flow without having to chain yourselves to the “committed relationship” box will keep the spark alive because you’ll both feel free to be who you are and explore each other without pressure.
  6. You can avoid the expectations. When you become exclusive, there’s no doubt that you’ll be on a path that’s filled with expectations. When you meet his friends, you’ll expect your boyfriend to introduce you as his special someone. When you’ve been dating for many months, you’ll expect to hear a declaration of love… By taking time just to enjoy what you have going, you ditch expectations and the stress they bring into your relationship. Stress is a chemistry killer.
  7. Youll see the best in him. Do you recall ever being in a long-term relationship where you saw a side to your boyfriend that totally put you off? Perhaps it was a dealbreaker because he hit the douchebag switch. If you don’t enter into an exclusive relationship, you give those reality checks a miss. Of course, this means you’re not going to have a real relationship but if you know you don’t want to take the bad with the good and you don’t want to have to deal with the reality of being his girlfriend, why shouldn’t you change your definition of “real” to suit you?
  8. You can be the best you. Not being in a relationship allows you to enjoy spending time with someone and having sex with them, but let’s be real: it mostly works so well because it feels good to be fun-loving and carefree. When you can let your guard down and be chill, you show your best self. On the other hand, when things become serious and filled with stress you lose your free-spirited charm and lust for life. Or, you see your partner lose his. Neither is fun. By keeping things light without tripping over relationship strings, you can be that fun-loving girl you love, which will make your whole interactions so much more pleasurable and even meaningful.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.