Can Dating A Narcissist Work? Why It’s A Waste Of Time

Can Dating A Narcissist Work? Why It’s A Waste Of Time

You’ve met someone who’s charming, loving, and finally makes you feel seen. But, be warned: they might have narcissistic tendencies that will turn your dreamy romance into a nightmare. You might find yourself wondering if dating a narcissist can work or if they’re just going to drain your energy and set you back in life. Sorry, but don’t waste your time.

  1. You’ll have an artificial romantic connection. It might feel like the universe has brought you both crashing into each other, with sparks and champagne bubbles included. But if it feels like he’s exactly what you need, it could be a red flag. Narcissists try to be the perfect guy who’s stepped out of your daydreams so that you feel that you’re connected. It’s manipulative for what they have in store.
  2. You’ll be put down a lot. Not only do narcissists crave your regular praise and compliments, which can make you feel like you’re dating an insecure toddler-man, but they also want to feel powerful by putting you down. So, they’re going to be criticizing you by making “jokes” to piss you off or negging you to rattle you. This reveals how their so-called confidence is really a mask to conceal how worthless they feel. This is yet another reason dating a narcissist can never work. As if you’re going to stick around to have your self-esteem destroyed!
  3. You won’t get a word in. One of the most frustrating things about communicating with a narcissist is that they love the sound of their own voice. If you find you have to keep biting your tongue because they’re always ready to interrupt you and turn the spotlight back onto themselves, good luck — it’s just going to get worse.
  4. You’ll be dating a walking advertisement. Narcissists have a habit of talking about their own achievements and qualities with an air of grandiosity. Don’t be surprised when you learn he’s the king of exaggeration to make himself look wonderful. Trying to make dating a narcissist work is an exercise in futility and pure annoyance, especially when you have to listen to his constant bragging.
  5. You’ll never receive an apology. If you ever feel like your boyfriend doesn’t understand your point of view during arguments or completely ignores you and refuses to take any responsibility for how he’s hurt you, you’re dealing with a possible narcissist. Don’t be surprised if he never tries to meet you halfway. You’re always the one who has to put in the extra work to make things right in your relationship. Ugh.
  6. You’ll be stuck dealing with his ego. A narcissist feels superior to everyone else, which might seem puzzling because he’s so sensitive and easily hurt to the point where it seems quite extreme. Being around him will make you feel anxious and annoyed, such as when he’s rude to people, acts out like a child when he doesn’t get what he wants and finds fault with everything. Soon, he’ll also be finding flaws in you, which will just contribute to your low self-esteem.
  1. You’ll always be second best. A narcissist might seem willing to compromise early on in your relationship, but once they know you’re interested in them they’ll change their tune and make everything about them. Don’t be surprised when he wants everything according to his terms and when he prioritizes his needs over yours, every single time.
  2. You’ll never know what’s real. One of the most damaging consequences of dating a narcissist is that they’ll mess with your head and manipulate you to the point where you don’t even know what’s real or if they’re being honest with you. A narcissist will be able to lie with a straight face and will change the facts of stories he’s spun so that you doubt yourself. Trust your gut on this one. He’s lying to suit his own needs and trying to control you, which is yet another reason dating a narcissist just can’t work.
  3. You’ll get frozen out. Once you show a narcissist you’re interested in them, thinking that they feel the same, you’ll be in for a  nasty surprise. Although they were making you believe you both had a bright future together and they were moving fast through dating milestones, suddenly they’ll become cold towards you. They’re in love with the chase and might freeze you out regularly during your relationship because they don’t have any feelings for you or empathy. They’re also trying to control you by leaving you begging them for more so they have the upper hand.
  4. You’ll feel his envious eyes on you. A narcissist is so insecure that he’ll always be comparing himself to others. He wants to believe he’s amazing, so he won’t allow anyone else to be as great. Yikes. This is why he’ll criticize others in an attempt to bring them down and feel superior to them. When it comes to you, he might battle to share the spotlight and he’ll be jealous of what you achieve. He’s certainly not going to be your biggest supporter.
  5. You’ll be dragged back into the situation. Although a narcissist will love bomb you before bouncing, when they think they’re about to lose you they’ll come back with a bang, making you feel loved all over again. It’s an abusive cycle that won’t ever give you the healthy happiness that you want in a relationship, but it can become addictive, which is dangerous. That’s why it’s better to leave the relationship immediately when you spot any of the red flags.
Jessica Blake is a writer who loves good books and good men, and realizes how difficult it is to find both.