Can He Be Trusted? 10 Signs Your Boyfriend Isn’t Reliable

Trust is earned, not given, and you can only know if someone deserves your trust by seeing how they behave and treat you. That being said, if you’re dating someone and they’re showing any of these 10 signs, they’re not reliable and you shouldn’t give them something as valuable as your trust. You’ve been warned that this guy’s not worth it. Get out while you still can!

  1. He tells you little white lies. At what point do little white lies become a problem? When there are tons of them or you feel confused about why your partner’s even telling them in the first place. For example, why would he have to lie about his email not working or about where he was on the weekend? It makes you feel that he’s hiding something.
  2. He requires follow-up questions. During conversation, do you regularly find that you have to ask him follow-up questions because he’s just not letting the conversation flow? He doesn’t tell you things about himself easily, which is a cause for concern. If he can’t open up, he’s obviously keeping you at an emotional distance.
  3. He hides his social media profiles. It’s no big deal if your partner doesn’t want to share couple photos with you on social media regularly (maybe he’s just really private), but it’s a totally different situation if he doesn’t want to connect with you on social media or he’s clearly hiding some of his online behavior so you can’t see it.
  4. He doesn’t man up for the small things. When your partner does something small to upset you, does he act like you’re making a big deal out of nothing or does he own up and apologize? If someone can’t take responsibility for small mistakes, how the hell is he going to do so for larger, more upsetting actions?
  5. He bails on you. It’s normal for anyone to have to cancel your date at the last minute once in a while – hey, life happens – but a guy who does this regularly or just leaves you hanging about when you’re going to see him isn’t reliable. Same goes for the guy who takes days to reply to your messages.
  6. He loves a good goss session. Who doesn’t enjoy a random bite of gossip? It’s like indulging in junk food, but it shouldn’t happen regularly. If your guy loves to talk about others behind their backs, that’s a bad sign that he could do that to you when you walk out of the room. Be careful.
  7. He talks himself up. When you’re getting to know him, does he sometimes seem like a walking advertisement of why he’s so great? If he loves himself so much and wants to try to make it clear that he’s a great catch/sensitive/one of the good guys, you have to wonder why he can’t just show you that he is all of those things. Why does he feel the need to praise himself? Maybe he’s lying to get into your good books.
  8. His behavior can’t be predicted. It’s comforting to know how someone is going to behave. For example, if he texts you daily and keeps his word about seeing you on the weekend, you feel you can trust in him because they’re not a wild card. It’s therefore unsettling when a guy does things on a whim and always surprises you with his behavior. It’s not a good surprise.
  9. He writes off your feelings. You can’t trust someone who will invalidate your feelings or write them off.  You can tell if someone can be trusted with your thoughts and feelings by opening up to them. If they don’t seem to have time for you or they don’t seem to care about what you have to say, don’t stick around to be even more disrespected.
  10. He lacks empathy for others. Another behavior to look for is if your partner is not empathetic with others. When his co-worker sprains his ankle and needs a rest day, does your partner moan about what an inconvenience this is for him? Woah. If he can’t put himself in other people’s situations and feel for them, he’s going to do the same thing to you when you’re in a bind.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.