I Can Never Tell If A Guy Actually Likes Me Or Not & It Sucks

When it comes to the dating game, I have to admit that my skills are seriously lacking. I just haven’t developed a good strategy no matter how hard I’ve tried. Pretty much every signal a guy sends is a mixed one to me because no matter what, I can never tell whether or not he really likes me.

  1. Guys don’t make their intentions clear. I’m so sick of trying to read between the lines and pick up on vibes. I don’t want any more subtle hints because they always come with the possibility of being misinterpreted. I feel like I’m trying to read a man’s mind when I really want him to just spell it out. What I need is a clear indication of what a man wants from me, whether that be sex, love or absolutely nothing.
  2. It’s weird to straight-up ask a guy if he likes me. Do you like me or do you like-like me? It might be super second grade, but at least things were a hell of a lot less confusing back then. I wish I could just ask guys straight up whether they’re feeling things with me or not, but unfortunately, that’s not proper protocol. I could try to break the rules, but odds are if I was that forward with a man in the very beginning, I’d just scare him off. So if he doesn’t tell me how he feels, then I guess I’ll never really know.
  3. I don’t want to come off pushy or needy. I don’t want to try to rope a guy into a relationship the second we meet. However, I do want to know if he’s actually interested in the possibility of a relationship with me. He doesn’t have to be my boyfriend within a few dates, but if we have no chance at ever actually being a couple, then that’s something I need to know. Guys never make it clear if they want something serious or casual and I don’t want to push something before we’re both ready.
  4. Too many guys think women can’t handle the truth. It would be so much easier if guys were just upfront from the start. If they don’t want a relationship, they should tell me. If they’re not interested, they shouldn’t lead me on. If all they want is sex, own it so that I can walk away and save us any awkward situations. I can’t make my own decisions if I don’t have the facts and unless he tells me his god’s honest truth about how he feels, then I’m just guessing.
  5. Many guys play games to keep women on the hook. Are there any guys out there who are genuinely looking for love and not just pretending to so they can find sex? Modern dating feels like a game. Guys looking for sex play the part of good guys just to trick innocent girls like me into their beds. It’s a sleazy con to play, but it’s pretty damn common. Players know how to pretend to act interested and I can’t help but fall for it every time.
  6. I don’t know what it’s like to meet a man who does have real feelings for me. I feel like if I met the right guy, I wouldn’t have to worry about how he feels. Not only would he express his emotions verbally but he would also show me every single day. Maybe the problem is I can’t tell if a man has real feelings for me because I’ve yet to meet one who does.
  7. I’m just an awkward human being. I’ve never exactly been good at reading social cues. It’s not just guys that make me feel clueless. It’s humans in general. I never know if someone actually likes me or is just playing nice. I get that people are just trying to be polite, but for me it’s confusing. So how am I supposed to tell if he is really interested or just a nice guy?
  8. I can’t tell the difference between flirting and actual interest. Some people are just natural flirts, and that’s a problem for me. Guys who flirt with everyone are the ones who leave me so incredibly confused. Just because a man flirts doesn’t mean he’s actually interested in dating me. How the hell am I supposed to figure out his intentions? I thought flirting was the social cue that meant a man likes me, but some people flirt just to flirt and there’s nothing behind it.
  9. I want to know immediately whether or not we have a connection. I’m a woman who knows herself very well. If there’s a spark with someone, it’s not going to take me long to figure it out. I can’t control or manipulate my feelings, they just come naturally, so the second I realize I have feelings for a guy, I want to know if he feels something too. At the end of the day, I’m a single woman who just doesn’t want to waste any more of her time on guys that just aren’t that interested. Unfortunately, I don’t know if most men know how they feel as quickly as I do.
  10. I can never tell if a compliment is genuine. I’m not the best at reading sarcasm. I’m confident in myself but I don’t expect everyone else to be mesmerized by me, so I can never tell if I should actually take something as a compliment or even how significant that compliment is. Guys say nice things to girls for a lot of different reasons. He may just be complimenting me as a friend, he may just want to get me into bed, or he may genuinely like me. Who knows?
  11. I have a knack for making male friends. I get along with guys really well, mostly because we have the same sense of humor. The way I joke around with my friends can be the way that some guys I meet would simply flirt. So I can never really tell if they have an interest in being my friend or in actually dating me. When you have a lot of guy friends, you meet a lot of guys, but the line between whether they’re interested in my friendship or in romance is very blurry.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.