You Can Tell From The Sex If You’re Bonding With Your Partner Or If It’s Just Physical

Sex can tell you a heck of a lot about your partner—if he feels for you and wants something more than an amazing orgasm, for instance. Here are 14 ways to tell that he’s serious about you based on the type of sex you’re having.

  1. He explores your body. If he really seems to enjoy looking at your body and exploring it during sex, it’s a sign he’s really connecting to you. It also makes you feel special and loved during sex.
  2. He prioritizes your pleasure. If he’s just worried about his own pleasure, it’s a red flag that you’re nothing more than a hookup to him. But, if he cares about what feels good to you and he wants you to gain the most pleasure out of sex before he does, it’s a good sign he cares about you.
  3. He cuddles afterwards. You don’t want to feel that once the sex is over, you have to leap out of bed and GTFO of his apartment. That’s booty call behavior. If he can spend time with you afterwards cuddling, kissing, showering, and/or talking, the dude’s really into you—and not just for your body.
  4. He checks in. When a guy asks if you’re having a good time during sex, it’s a sure sign he’s thinking about your happiness and wants to please you. A great sex session to him is if you’re both satisfied. Right on!
  5. He kisses you. And not just when he’s hoping to score. Kissing is highly intimate, and it’s a real sign that he’s connected to you, physically and emotionally. Taking the time to kiss passionately during sex takes your intimate bond to a whole new level.
  6. He sets the mood. He doesn’t have to buy champagne and light jasmine candles in the bedroom, but it helps if he creates a loving mood, instead of just rushing you to bed and having his way with you. He should be romantic, even if it’s just about being affectionate with you, so that you don’t feel like a piece of meat.
  7. He likes foreplay. He spends time pleasuring you in ways other than penetration. For instance, he might like to give you a sensual massage or stroke you in your erogenous zones before sex. This shows that he wants to make the experience special. He’s investing time and effort to please you.
  8. He doesn’t only compliment you during sex. A guy who tells you he loves you or compliments you, physically or personality-wise, during sex but never afterward isn’t serious about you. He’s just talking in the heat of the moment. You want a guy who can compliment you inside and outside of the bedroom.
  9. He does it at his place. Sex is about location! He doesn’t just rush to your place to have sex—he’ll invite you to his home sometimes too, and not just when he’s hoping to get his rocks off. This is a sign that he wants to let you into his world, not just his bedroom.
  10. He makes it personal. You can tell a guy’s just looking to score by how impersonal the sex feels. For instance, he might not caress you or make eye contact. It feels like you’re just two bodies having meaningless sex. On the other hand, when a guy can really make you feel seen during sex, he’s trying to bond with you.
  11. He discusses protection. A guy who cares about you will ask if you’re on the pill and be sure that he’s got condoms before you head to the bedroom. He won’t just jump into the sack making assumptions that you’re the one responsible for these things or asking at the last second. Oh hell no! He wants to stay safe and be 100 percent sure that you’re on the same page.
  12. He suggests positions instead of just doing them. When a guy just wants to sleep with you, he’ll do what he wants to get the most pleasure. So, he might just flip you over when he wants to try a different position. That’s so messed up. A guy who loves you might want to try something a little different, but he’ll be sure to suggest it and makes sure you’re as turned on by the idea as he is. Your needs matter to him.
  13. He remembers what you like. When you’re having regular sex with someone who really cares about you, he’ll remember things you like—and don’t like—during sex. A regular booty call, on the other hand, won’t bother remembering such important details. He’s just hoping you’re down for his idea of fun.
  14. He takes his time. A guy who’s serious about you doesn’t rush through foreplay, and he doesn’t rush through the sex either. He likes to take his time and enjoy the session with you, even switching off his phone and locking the door so you’re not disturbed. You don’t feel like he just wants to have an orgasm as quickly as possible. He wants to savor every single moment. Bliss!



Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.