Can You Get Out Of The Friend Zone With A Guy And Is It Worth It?

Typically we hear guys complain about getting friend-zoned, but it can and does happen to women too. When it happens, it can be devastating. There you are harboring all these romantic feelings for a guy who sees you like a little sister, not a lover. The good news is that it’s possible to get out of the friend zone, especially if there’s even an inkling of a spark between you. Here are a few tips for transitioning the relationship.

  1. Quit being so easy. No, not that kind of easy. You’re easy for him to be with but you’re also easy for him not to be with. If he’s bored on a Saturday night because the girl he likes canceled on him, he knows he can call you for a chill Netflix binge session. If something that involves the hot chick at the office comes up, he knows it’s easy to cancel his plans with you. Hold him to some higher standards and see if that shifts his behavior.
  2. Get a life. Most guys don’t want to know that your sun rises and sets on them, which is why it’s important to maintain your own life. It’s not necessary to be one of the bitchy girls that never has time for him anymore, but you should make sure that you have a life away from him. Make plans with your friends instead of staying home and hoping he’ll call. Don’t feel that you have to text him every funny meme. Maybe your mom would like to be the first one to know about the promotion at work. Don’t put him in a spot where he is always the first person you think of. Let other people share in the big and small moments in your life.
  3. Stop being so comfortable around him. Let’s face it because you’re such good friends, you likely don’t even bother to change out of your sweats when he comes over Sunday afternoon to help you move the furniture. Stop that. When you’re around him, make him sit up and take notice. That doesn’t have to mean that you spend hours doing your hair and makeup to see him. Just go wash your face, put on clothes that fit, and a little lip gloss. Men are visual creatures. Don’t make him feel like he’s not worth the effort of looking nice.
  4. Don’t tell him everything. Leave some things to mystery. Maybe he came to have lunch with you at work and saw you talking to that cute guy that just started. There’s no reason why you have to tell him that the guy is new and couldn’t find the bathroom. He doesn’t even have to know that he works there. Just let him use his imagination.
  5. Hang out with your single guy friends. Next time he goes to meet you at the bar, be waiting for him… with another guy. If you have other male friends, there’s no reason that you should hide it from him. Just invite some girls and some guys that are not coupled up and let him wonder which one you’re attracted to.

So is getting out of the friend zone with a guy even worth it? Consider these things…

  1. People who have been friends for a long time often make great lovers. They understand each other and they already care about the other person’s feelings. They know what their future goals are and there are very few surprises. So, yes, getting out of the friend zone can definitely be worth it, but that doesn’t mean it always is.
  2. If you need to change who you are to get out of the friend zone, he’s not worth it. You can pretend to be someone else for short periods of time, but the change will be temporary. Eventually, he’ll realize that the person who he got involved with is not the person he thought you were and the relationship won’t last. Be you. Getting out of the friend zone is not worth changing who you are.
  3. If you have to do things that are against your moral code, it’s a no-go. If you have to do things you consider unethical to be with him, he’s not the man you thought he was. Don’t try to be someone you’re not and don’t give up on your morals and values.
  4. Being in the friend zone sucks. You can do everything you can to get out of the friend zone but never change who you are. If he’s just not into you, you may have to accept that the most the two of you will ever be is friends. Sometimes, getting out of the friend zone just isn’t worth it.
Danielle has been a freelance writer for 20+ years. She lives in Canada with her dog Rogue and drinks a lot if coffee.