If You Can’t Acknowledge Me In Public, Then I Won’t Have Sex With You In Private

When we’re between the sheets, we’re the best of friends. When we’re out in the streets, you act like we’re strangers. If I’m going to be your bed buddy in private, you have to at least acknowledge me in public — otherwise, I’m gone.

  1. I’m nobody’s dirty little secret. So don’t try to make me the skeleton in your closet. There’s nothing wrong with keeping it casual as long as it’s what we both want, not because you’re embarrassed of me. I’m a great girl, and your friends don’t have to know what we are, but they can at least know you know me.
  2. I have self-respect. I deserve so much more than to just be someone’s hookup buddy. Even if I agree that it’s just sex, that still doesn’t mean you can completely ignore me in public. I might not be a big part of your life but I’m still in it, so acknowledge me or get lost.
  3. If you’re ashamed of me, I’m more ashamed of you. And you should be ashamed of yourself too. You won’t talk to me in public but you’re down to sleep with me? I’m good enough for your bed but not good enough for your friends to see me? There’s nothing wrong with me, but what the hell is wrong with you?
  4. I don’t give away my goods for free. So stop thinking of me as livestock. I’m a person, not an object intended to get you off. I don’t owe you anything — being with you is my choice. So if you can’t even muster up a few words in public, then you’ve made the choice for me to say goodbye very easy.
  5. I don’t need you to get my orgasm. I can do that all on my own, thank you very much. If you think you’re too good for me, then I’m so gone. If you’re too good for me in public then I’m too good for you in private. I’ll live happily ever after with my vibrator. Can you say the same for you and your hand?
  6. You don’t have to be my boyfriend, but we don’t need to be strangers. We don’t have to walk the streets avoiding eye contact and pretending we don’t know each other. That’s just childish. I like you, you like me, so let’s not talk to each other? Are we in middle school? We don’t have to define our relationship to anyone else but we can at least admit we’re friends at the very least.
  7. Our private life should stay private. But that doesn’t mean our public life should be nonexistent. I don’t want you to scream from the rooftops about the fact that you’re having sex with me, but you can at least say hi when we run into each other. Our relationship between the sheets can stay between us but our relationship in the streets shouldn’t have to be a secret.
  8. These are my terms. You can choose to accept them and continue frequenting my bed and breakfast or you can keep ignoring me and our little rendezvous will stop. I’m not being unreasonable. I’m not even asking for a commitment. All I want is for you not to be embarrassed to be seen with me, because no matter how old we are, it hurts.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.