If You Can’t Be There For The Bad Times, I Won’t Keep You Around For The Good

Finding someone to enjoy your good times with is easy, but finding someone to stick with you through when crap hits the fan is a lot harder. A real relationship involves sticking with your partner through thick and thin, and if you’re not down for that, it’s not going to work out between us. Here’s why:

  1. I’m not always going to be happy. Even the most joyful people go up and down on the emotional roller coaster. It’s only human. I don’t want a man who’s going to disappear every time my life gets a little complicated. If you want to be there when I’m happy, you’d better stick around when I’m sad, angry, or anywhere else on the emotional scale.
  2. I need a shoulder I can cry on. When times are tough, I just want a man who’s willing to be there for me. I can get through things on my own, but I shouldn’t have to if I’m in a relationship. I want someone who actually wants to be there for me, who doesn’t see my ups and downs as a burden. Is it so much to ask for a man who loves me enough to make me feel better?
  3. I’m not perfect. And I won’t pretend to be. If you want a girl who never struggles with life or her emotions, then best of luck to you, buddy. I’m living out here in the real world, so give me a call if you ever find your way back to reality.
  4. It’s cliche for a reason — if you can’t love me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best. You don’t just get to choose to be in my life for the good times. Relationships take work, and if you’re not willing to make an effort, then you’re just not worthy of a girl like me. Love me at my worst, and I’ll be with you at my best.
  5. Everyone has mood swings. Having varying emotions isn’t just a side effect of being a woman. Unless you’re a robot, then you have them too. How would you feel if I just wasn’t there when things were hard, or if I only wanted to be around you when you were happy and successful? If you want to be with me, then stick around for the good, bad and everything in between.
  6. Relationships are about being there for each other. If marriage is in the future, then that’s the goal we’re working towards. We need to be able to love each other through sickness and in heath, through the good times and the bad. If you can’t do that, then what’s the point of trying to make this work?
  7. There will always be ups and downs. Every relationship goes through good times and bad times, but the ones that last are because the people in them stick together through it all. I’m not asking for a bipolar relationship with mountain-top highs and the lowest of lows. I just want a man who will be there with me even when the road gets rough.
  8. I want to feel like you’re on my side. We need to be a team. When I feel alone in the world, I have to know you’ll always be right there next to me. I’ll stand by you through the good and bad. I just need to know that you’re willing to do the same. I won’t fight for a man who won’t fight for me.
  9. I refuse to hide my feelings. I’m not going to pretend I feel something different than I really do just because you want a girl who’s constantly happy-go-lucky. That’s just not realistic. I have feelings, and if that’s an inconvenience to you, then too bad.
  10. I deserve a man who loves unconditionally. If your love is dependent on my mood, then I’m giving you a hard pass. What girl would put up with that? I have a little thing called self-respect, and that’s why I’ll never let a man try to control my emotions. I’ll have good days and bad, and if you can’t love me on both then you’re not good enough for me. I deserve a hell of a lot better than that.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.