You Can’t Change Until You’re Truly Ready & That’s Totally OK

The concept of change carries a lot of weight. Sometimes change is good, sometimes it’s bad, sometimes it’s forced upon us, and sometimes we have to try really really hard to do it and still don’t have much luck. Maybe we need a little more patience with ourselves. Here are some reasons why you just can’t change until you’re truly ready, and that’s more than OK.

  1. You’ve got to see it to believe it. A million people can point something out to you, but if you’re not open to what they’re saying, you just won’t see it. Who knows why — it depends, but it’s only when we arrive at that awareness that we’ll be able to actually make positive changes.
  2. Acceptance is just one step. When you reach the point where you’re like, “OK, I see how I’m being a real jackass to my boyfriends,” it doesn’t mean you know how to fix it overnight. This stage can be weird, especially if you put a lot of pressure on yourself to do right.
  3. Fear loves to get involved. Fear is a terrible feeling that probably has its roots in self-preservation. But fear should be directed towards actual dangerous situations, not towards guys who want to be with you. It’s a lot easier to get past fears when you really break down what you think you’re trying to protect yourself from, but that doesn’t happen overnight.
  4. It takes time to make new habits. At the beginning, starting a gym routine can be annoying and physically/mentally challenging, but then the results start showing, and the big bad change turns into a feeling really great change. That takes time, so you can’t expect immediate results or you’re setting yourself up for failure.
  5. Running away is way easier. This ultimately doesn’t work, but in the moment, covering your ears and physically removing yourself from a serious conversation might sound more appealing. Change requires grown up stuff like accepting responsibility and not running from yourself or from others when the going gets a little tough.
  6. You have lessons to learn. Sometimes your life hits a standstill or turns into a disaster because you stil have to things to learn before coming out on the other side. The key is to actually learn the lessons when they’re presented so that you don’t have to repeat them again.
  7. Life has cocoon stages. It sounds cheesy, but there’s no better example here than a butterfly. Who even knows what sort of madness is going on when a caterpillar is stuck in the cocoon? Coming out too early wouldn’t accomplish a damn thing, but waiting and seeing things through will be a beautiful experience when you finally emerge. Yeah, sometimes that’s worth a little patience.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog