I Can’t Date A Guy If He Doesn’t Drink—Here’s Why

I like beer. A lot. I probably spend as much time searching for new bottles as I do searching for new guys. So there’s a reason I always mention my affection for suds in my dating profiles—I definitely need to find a guy who’s as passionate about his choice of adult beverage as I am.

  1. I enjoy the social aspect. A dinner date usually confines you and your beau to your table. You don’t get to interact much with anyone besides the waiter. I like those intimate evenings as much as anyone, but I also like to balance them with more inclusive outings. From the fanciest winery to the grubbiest little dive bar, you can always find new pals where the drinks are flowing. These establishments are set up for mingling. Mingling is more fun when I have an aspiring Ciserone (fancypants beer taster) at my side.
  2. I secretly find it adorable when guys geek out over their preferred drink. His eyes light up when he discourses on his favorite strain of hops. He feels strongly about aerating that pinot noir. He’s fascinated with all the components of producing beer, wine, and spirits. Maybe his excitement comes across as silly or unnecessarily hipster-like to some, but I’m drawn to his unrestrained enthusiasm.
  3. I love trading recommendations. A good relationship helps both partners to expand their horizons. I’m always looking to try new selections and refine my palate. Sharing suggestions with a guy helps me to continue my thirsty quest to discover unique flavors.
  4. I get sentimental about a guy’s favorite beers and liquors. Appreciation for craft beverages inspires nerdy loyalty to certain brands or styles. Discussing our respective go-to drinks is always a great conversation starter. Plus, when I miss a guy, sipping his signature drink reminds me of moments he and I have shared.
  5. I love the thrill of the hunt. When you set out in search of quality libations, your trek could take you literally anywhere from the corner liquor store to the farthest reaches of the earth. (The love of a good drink is relatively universal, after all!) When you reach your destination, you toast your success with a refreshing beverage. Sounds exciting to me—and romantic too.
  6. My town has tons of options. My region serves up some of the world’s best craft beer, award-winning wine, and even a locally distilled whiskey I look forward to trying. You’re really never more than five minutes from something innovative and tasty. I want to try as many of these places as possible, and I want a great partner to join me on the adventure.
  7. It’s a family thing. My stepdad is a home brewer. When I visit my parents, there’s usually a new keg of IPA or amber ale waiting to be sampled. My folks’ back yard is a true beer garden. Sitting on the patio with fresh, frothy pints, we watch the birds fluttering through the trees and enjoy one another’s company. Anyone I date needs to value this peaceful ritual—and awesome opportunity to spend time with my fam—as much as I do.
  8. Tasty grog is a perfect gift. Men are notoriously tough to shop for, but I’m pretty good at selecting the right bottle. And better yet, whatever I get him, he’ll likely offer to share. He’ll find it equally easy to pick the right present for me: my perfect man will know I’d always take a bottle of my favorite imperial stout over an elaborate flower arrangement.
  9. Sharing a few drinks makes me feel like getting really close to the person I’m with. No, I don’t only mean physically. A mild buzz inspires me to connect on an emotional level. I’m naturally reserved—sometimes even when I’d really like to open up to someone. While I don’t depend on beer to help me express feelings, I appreciate the way a nice drink can enhance an already-pleasant interaction and loosen me up a tad.
  10. I’m self-conscious ordering booze around nondrinkers. For many who choose sobriety, other people’s habits are a complete non-issue, but I can’t help feeling awkward about ordering a beer in front of a nondrinker. I don’t want to make anybody uncomfortable, nor do I want to face subtle judgment about my choices. It’s not only about alcohol, by the way–I also try not to eat meat in front of vegans or discuss faith around devoutly religious people. I want to match habits where major lifestyle preferences are concerned.
  11. I don’t judge men who don’t drink. Whatever the reason a man chooses to abstain from alcohol, I respect his decision fully. And I would never want to adopt a cavalier attitude about the potential dangers of drinking too much. Regardless, bonding over a beer or two will always be one of my favorite ways to spend time with a guy.
  12. I know drinking together isn’t the only way to connect. No, a mutual fondness for spirits isn’t enough by itself to make us a compatible couple. He might have the most amazing wine cellar I’ve ever seen—if he lacks warmth and humor, we still won’t work. But the fact remains that I want to spend some of my Saturdays trying new drinks, and Saturday night is date night.
Jackie Dever is a freelance writer and editor in Southern California. When she's not working, she enjoys hiking, reading, and sampling craft beers.