If You Can’t Make Me A Priority, Don’t Expect Me To Be An Option

If You Can’t Make Me A Priority, Don’t Expect Me To Be An Option ©iStock/max-kegfire

Dating can be exhausting — the games, excuses, and lies can really take a toll — but it doesn’t have to be. So I’ve decided to try and simplify things. From now on, I’m not spending my time with any guy who isn’t making me feel good. In other words: if you’re not making me a priority in your life, I won’t be making you mine.

  1. If you’re “too busy,” so am I. If you can’t make the time for me in your life that I’m willing to make for you in mine, I’ll wipe my schedule clear of you, period. I don’t have time for a guy who can’t make a genuine effort to make plans with me, so I’ll be deleting your number instead.
  2. If you’re calling me late, I won’t be answering. If you think you can slide into my front door late at night by sending me a thoughtless text or by drunk dialing me at last call, think again. I might wake up and see your name come up on my phone, but I’ll quickly ignore it and go back to my peaceful slumber alone. I deserve more than this crap.
  3. If you’re free last minute, I’ve already made plans. If you decide to call me an hour before you’re free to hang out, sorry, but I’ve made other plans. I won’t be sitting by the phone hoping it’ll ring, nor will I be sitting waiting in the wings for you to squeeze an ounce of effort into giving me your time. I’m planning my life without you, so if you want to be a part of it, you need to step up to the plate.
  4. If you’re still swiping right, I’ll downgrade you to a left. If we’ve been dating and things are going well and you’re still playing the field, I’ll remove myself from the lineup. I’m not willing to compete in a charade for your affection. I have more self-respect than to prove my worth when I already know it myself.
  5. If you’re attempting to ghost, I’ve already moved on. If you think your week-long silence has me spooked, think again. While you were busy planning your douchebag escape, I’ve already moved on without you.
  6. If you come back after ghosting, I’ll haunt you with silence. If you change your mind about your cowardly silence, I’ll leave you with an even worse sinking feeling — the silence left over from all the f*cks I don’t give about you.
  7. If you have an excuse, I’ll give you a reason. You can save your excuse — I’ve heard them all. It’s one thing to be legitimately tied up with the unexpected realities of life, but it’s quite another when it becomes a cliche pattern and a habit. If you keep spitting your BS at me, don’t be shocked when I make you eat it. I don’t have time for your excuses when I’ve already decided you’re not worth it.
  8. If you won’t get to know me, I’ll forget you were relevant. If you don’t give me a real chance and you don’t care or show that you want to get to know me, not only will I stop sharing who I am, I’ll forget why I even bothered with you in the first place. I won’t waste my time or energy on someone who doesn’t realize the opportunity he has with me.
  9. If you blow your chance, someone else will take your place. If you won’t take this thing seriously or pay me the kindness I deserve, that’s totally fine. I won’t even be hurt about it. I won’t blow up your phone, I won’t even ask you why — I’ll simply carry on without you. I’ll leave you wondering why I’m not putting up a fight and why failing to make me a priority in your life has left you with nothing at all. While you were busy behaving like a loser, I was busy making room for someone who’s worth it. Hint: it isn’t you.