If He Can’t Make Up His Mind About You, Make Up Yours & Leave

A guy who tells you he’s not sure about you — or even just seems like he’s not — isn’t the kind of guy you need in your life, period. After all, you’re a total catch, so what’s there to be uncertain about? If he can’t make up his mind, make up yours and kick him to the curb.

  1. You’re too hot to be put on ice. You’re amazing, anyone can see that, but he wants to put you on hold for a while until he figures out what he wants? What an jerk. He clearly doesn’t realize just how lucky he is to even have a chance with you. That’s enough to toss the guy out right now.
  2. If he’s this ambivalent now, things don’t look good. A guy who says he’s just not sure about you or your relationship has put things in a whole new zone: relationship purgatory. Now you have to wait for things to either get better or get worse, but there’s no turning back. Whatever happens, things never will be the same.
  3. He’s not mature enough to act like a grown man. A real man will be sure of what he wants. He won’t be confused, afraid or unsure. That’s just a truckload of drama! You don’t need a guy with issues messing around in your life because he’ll just keep bringing you heartache and tears, and making his issues yours.
  4. He’s obviously not into you enough. He might’ve been into you before, but now that he’s not sure of you, he’s basically saying he’s not feeling it. I mean, why else would he be telling you he’s uncertain? If he was just having a slight case of cold feet, he’d be sorting it out in his own time. He wouldn’t be bringing it up and making a big deal of it.
  5. He’s probably arrogant AF. I’m sorry, but a guy who tells you he’s not sure of you could be a really bad guy — the type of guy who acts like he’s better than you and wants to exercise power over you. It’s like he’s holding all the relationship cards because he knows how much you love him and wants you to jump through hoops. Run!
  6. You can’t change him. If you think you can change the guy who says he’s not sure of you, guess again. Not only can’t you change him, but you shouldn’t stoop so low as to try. What, you have to convince or persuade him to love you? Hell no. You’re a queen. You don’t bow down to anybody.
  7. He’s probably showing other signs that things aren’t coolThere’s no way that this “I’m not sure” business came out of nowhere. It’s a symptom of a greater problem — he’s not right for you. He’s probably shown you this truth for a while, like by being so distracted when you’re together or holding back information about his life. Maybe you tried to ignore it, but not anymore.
  8. You’re headed for a breakupSometimes cowardly guys will give you hints that they want to break up to prepare you for the big split. When he says he’s not sure, this could be a huge hint that’s probably going to lead to other signs he wants out, such as when he starts blowing off your dates. Get out now before things get worse!
  9. He’s going to negatively affect your mental and physical health. If you stick with this guy while he makes up his mind, you’re just going to feel anxious and stressed, which can make you sick. You don’t deserve to stress out while he figures himself out. He should already know what he wants and if he doesn’t by now, then he’ll never be the committed boyfriend you need and deserve.
  10. You have standards. Use them. Let’s pretend he takes time to figure things out and then chooses you. When you take him back, you won’t feel happy. You’ll feel like you have no standards and allowed him to do whatever he wanted. You’ll probably also feel like if you take him back, you’re basically saying that he can do similar or worse things in future because your standards are so low and accommodating to him. Screw that. Hold onto your standards and GTFO of the relationship before it brings you down.
  11. You don’t need uncertainty. He claims to love you even though he’s “not sure” of the relationship? BS. Real love won’t make you feel uncertain about what’s going on with the guy or where you stand. If you’re feeling like you’re not on solid ground, which is definitely what a guy who tells you he’s unsure will make you feel, then that’s a sign to head to more stable relationships.
  12. You deserve more. You might feel guilty about leaving him when he just needs a bit of time, but honestly, no one who’s really in love will need time away from the person they’re with. They’ll know 100 percent that no matter what’s happening in their life, they want their partner by their side. Likewise, you deserve a guy who’s giving you his all, not a guy who’s got one foot out of the relationship door. If he’s backtracking, you need to run faster than him — all the way to a relationship that will make you feel secure and appreciated. Accept nothing less.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.